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spectrumed · 3 years ago

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3. sadness

Don’t be like that. Be like this, or be that other thing. Be unique, but don’t be too unique. Fit in, but try to be a rebel. Be a renegade, but don’t rock the boat. Don’t know what you are supposed to be? What? Do you have imposter syndrome or something? Just be yourself, but, y’know, sand down the edges a little bit. Be friendlier. Be the kind of person everyone likes. Be the life of the party! Don’t be some shut-in, some crazy cat-lady with absolutely zero social life. Don’t be sad. Don’t burden others with your sadness. Work to maximise the total happiness of your community. A smile goes a long way. Can’t smile? You really can’t help but being a sourpuss all the time? Well, I guess maybe that if you can’t help but stay in a perpetual bad mood bringing everyone else down… then maybe you should just stay isolated? Better stay alone, away from others. You’re toxic. You’re just so damned sad. You really must be quarantined.

I am sad, a lot of the time. Are you? But, no, you can’t just admit that you are sad. Don’t be a buzzkill, try to inject a little humour into the things you say. You can admit you’re depressed, if you do so with a joke. Don’t let others know you’re being sincere. Ironic jokes work the best, don’t they? They let you confess your secret gloom to everyone around, but they’ll never know just how serious you’re being. With a wink of the eye, any candid expression of your inner turmoil can become a hilarious post-modern gag. Are they or are they not telling the truth? Oh, I’ll never tell! And it will all work out excellent, up until the day you commit suicide. But every comedian’s time in the limelight has to end at some point, right?

This blog is supposed to be about autism spectrum disorder, why am I suddenly discussing depression? Well, I suppose that it is time we bring to the table this little thing called comorbidity. Psychology is messy. Some would argue that it is barely even a real scientific field (I tend to think that it is the best thing we have, but I acknowledge that in places, psychology is fundamentally flawed.) You may have thought that you’d get just one diagnosis. One simple label that you can work through and overcome. You’re bipolar, now go deal with it! But instead, you find yourself with a whole fistful of diagnoses. What to hear my proud list of diagnoses? Oh, please, don’t think because I am listing them this one certain way, I put them in order of relevancy to me. I love all of my diagnoses equally.

My diagnoses are:

Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

Agoraphobia

Possible Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Asperger syndrome (AS)

No, I was never officially diagnosed with depression, but largely because, at the time I received these diagnoses, my depression was so blatant that it felt as if I was walking around with a cloud of miasma surrounding at all times. Imagine me as Pig-Pen from Peanuts, but instead of being covered in dirt, I was covered in the funk of melancholy. And whatever treatment I would eventually go on to receive (and still am receiving to this day,) would go about treating my anxiety first, and hopefully, the depression would give in alongside the anxiety. It has, for the most part, though, I still feel the presence of that black dog from time to time. I also got only a half-hearted potential diagnosis of OCD, but later, during a trial of an antidepressant that had a freakishly negative impact on my psyche, it blossomed into a fully-grown attention-craving condition. Turns out that OCD can be a real hog for the spotlight, really not allowing any of the other diagnoses to take their turn on stage. Thankfully, when I got off that particular antidepressant, those symptoms stopped, but it has led me to be far more aware of my internal obsessive-compulsive thought patterns. For me, OCD largely lacks physical compulsions, but my mind is ablaze with intrusive thoughts, and I will routinely force myself to repeat certain phrases in my head to make them go away. The funny thing is, I never realised that wasn’t normal.

Diagnoses are an attempt to map out a spiders’ web of problems. Things come hand in hand. While I’m no psychologist, I can speak from the perspective of someone who has been through the psychiatric process, which I suppose, lends me a certain kind of expertise, doesn’t it? Maybe it really doesn’t. Maybe I’m just throwing words out there, thinking that I could serve a good purpose, but instead all I am doing is contributing to this great onslaught of digital disinformation we’re all suffering under. But I’m probably just too doubtful of myself. I am speaking about myself, after all. I’ve got first-hand experience in being myself. I know exactly what it feels like to own this skin, these bones, this heart, and this mushy brain of mine. I’m not claiming to know everything. I’m just claiming to know about this one sad individual writing this hoping it might allow someone to reblog my posts with the hashtag “relatable” one day.

Anxiety runs in my family. The neurosis demon gets passed down from generation to generation, only occasionally skipping a beat. My mother and I share many of the same neurotic quirks, though, she has for the most part of her life not had it to quite the excessive degree that I have it. I really took that genetic predisposition for anxiety and ran with it. And while I’m the only person in my family to have gotten diagnosed as being “on the spectrum,” there are a few members that I kinda sort of in a way actually quite seriously suspect might also be here somewhere on the spectrum. Still, as always goes with diagnosing, there’s no point in doing it unless the person is in need of some kind of treatment. I wholeheartedly believe that most people on the planet belong to one spectrum, be it an autism spectrum, a bipolar spectrum, a narcissism spectrum, even a schizophrenic spectrum, but diagnoses should be exclusively reserved for those who need psychiatric care. The world is a spectrum, and it’s worth noting that the terms “sane” and “insane” do not alone capture the complexity of the human psyche. A person can appear perfectly sensible, yet at some point in their life, they may have been a real silly little bugger who thought that their pet hamster was the reincarnation of the Buddha. Just as with physical health, one can struggle with one's mental health for one period in their life, only to later on in life feel utterly and entirely mentally healthy. Or, well, sadly in a lot of cases, people who were perfectly mentally healthy may suddenly become diagnosed with dementia. But that’s really sad, so let’s not talk about that.

Is it all genetic? Well, no. Or well, maybe? In regards to autism, I am pretty sure that, yes, it is genetic. While, yes, I do admit that I’m just a dummy on the internet, so what do I really know? And the brain is such a complex bit of mushy meat, so I could always be proven wrong. Though, I tend towards thinking that there most likely is principally a genetic factor to conditions like autism, or attention deficit disorder (and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,) or things like bipolar disorder. But with anxiety, quite frankly, I can’t say how much of it is nurture and how much of it is nature. I mentioned that my mother and I share many of the same neurotic quirks, so that would imply that there is something in one's genes that can make some more prone to anxiety than others, but my mother does not struggle with agoraphobia, nor does she seem to have any obsessive-compulsive tendencies. In fact, in my family, even those that exhibit some element of heightened anxiety, they don’t seem to show any milder symptoms of this kind. I can’t help but feel as if these conditions I gained through that tortuous period of every boy’s and girl’s (and boy-girl’s) life is called puberty. I hate to conform to stereotypes but I did indeed hate being a teenager. Believe it or not, I wasn’t a jock, and no, I didn’t go to parties. I mostly spent my time crying.

The question that no doubt plagues every movie psychiatrist to no end is what kind of trauma must a person undergo to make them go mad? Abusive parents? Abusive uncles? Abusive teachers? Abusive dogs? Honestly, to be an adult raising a child must be rough, considering how any mistake you make might suddenly turn your little babe into a future serial killer. Now, there’s no doubt that there are some seriously terrible parents out there, and that a lot of people have mental woes that definitely came about due to their parents and their abysmal lack of parental care. But generally, how much can you actually blame on your parents? We know the cliché, let’s go sit down on the sofa and complain to our Freudian hack-shrink all about those times as a kid our dad missed the big game, or that time our mother embarrassed us in front of all of our friends. I have plenty of things to complain about my parents, like I believe we all have. Our parents are flawed, messy human beings, of course they occasionally made mistakes throughout our upbringings. But is that nearly enough to turn a person mentally ill? Putting up with an at times really embarrassing mom? No, I don’t think so. And of course, there are some real awful parents out there, I’m not doubting that. Trust me, I’m a fan of true crime, so I’ve heard some real grizzly stories of what some kids are forced to grow up with. But I am thinking that those instances are more rare than they are common. Most people with mental illnesses can most likely not blame their parents.

How ‘bout bullies? Yes, them bullies. Them awful mean bullies that made all of our lives so painful. It’s funny, it seems like every school had their own fair share of bullies, and yet no-one as an adult ever comes forward to admit that they themselves were the bullies. It’s almost like as if no-one ever thinks of themselves as being a bully, even when they are throwing rocks at that weird chubby kid with blonde hair who happens to be named Fredrik and who just wants to be left alone. Was I bullied? Well… yes. But I can’t say I got the brunt of it. I got bullied, but overall I’d say I only ever had it slightly worse than most people. I was still quite tall, typically taller than my classmates growing up, and for the most part I could roll with the punches. If you really want to talk about a kid I knew growing up that got bullied, let me tell you about this kid who knew all the right dances for all the right Britney Spears songs. He was gay, I think. Not quite old enough to have come out, I suspect, but, well... He liked all the female pop stars, but not in that way of wanting to kiss them and fondle their boobies, but in the “I want to sound just like them when I grow up” sort of way. I don’t know what happened to him (or them, or her, depending on how they identify now,) but that was real bullying. Like most folks, I found myself stuck in that limbo of seeing others get bullied far worse than me and being too cowardly to intervene, in fears that I’d end up taking their place. Yes, isn’t school just a marvellous place? It’s a wonder any of us turn out okay.

No, I think that, fundamentally, the problems I have arose with myself. This, blaming myself, is not something that I am unused to doing. I have a long history of blaming myself, that’s really the problem. As a teenager I knew that I was different, and I was frightened and scared of being exposed. I didn’t even really know what it was that was different about me, I just knew that I didn’t fit in. I felt as if I didn’t deserve to fit in. The older I got, the more intense these feelings got. And I started taking it out on myself. I started hating myself. And I really mean furiously hating myself. It wasn’t some casual self-loathing, it was searing self-hatred. I did not physically hurt myself, but I did engage with self-harm. I kept repeating the mantras of “I hate myself,” and “I am pathetic,” over and over again, with the ultimate goal of making myself cry. For a period, I couldn’t go to bed without making myself cry first. I began taking days off from school, pretending to be sick. Well, I suppose I was ill, but not physically. I began failing most of my classes, I only ended up doing well in art. I stayed away from school for whole weeks at the time. Once, when I shame-facedly returned to school some of the meaner boys came up to me and said that they were surprised to learn that I was still alive. They were surprised, but also a little disappointed.

This was a time in my life when I really needed psychiatric care. This became increasingly obvious to my parents, and my teachers. I was clearly suffering from depression. Not just some teenaged angst, but full-blown, wholly insidious, depression. But, well, I didn’t get the care that I needed. Oh, I did go to see a psychologist a couple of times, but she saw no reason for me to continue seeing her. I don’t know why she felt as if I wasn’t in need of help, frankly, I can’t fathom why she felt as if I wasn’t in need of help. I suppose I avoided telling her the truth of what went on inside of my head, but I feel like as if any good psychologist would have been able to tell that the kid sitting across from them was clearly suffering from something a tad more intense than just some common concerns about puberty. At most I was able to confess was that I was feeling ashamed over myself for getting so fat, but it should have been clear to anybody that I was only using that as a hook to hang my self-hatred on. There very clearly was some underlying condition that I had that should have gotten addressed. But it went ignored.

At most I can think to explain this is the fact that I wasn’t “problematic.” Not in the way some kids are, when they’re struggling with their mental health. I did not act out, I did not take drugs, and I was certainly not violent. Even to this day, though I have at many times suffered from suicidal ideation, I am a real low-risk for actual suicide considering my intense fear of dying (yes, that’s an odd combo to have.) So, I’ve come to realise that the only way I am getting treatment is if I actually seek out treatment. And back then, I was just as placid as I had previously always been. I was quiet and introverted, just desperate to get back home so I could go and hide in my room. Many teenagers are like that. And it is easy to ignore them, because they want to be ignored. They just don’t want to exist. When you are desperate to be left alone, eventually people will leave you alone. I would go on to receive psychiatric care later on my life, but only after several years passed. I did have a better time living in my later teenage years, but like with a bone that heals wrong, I needed someone to come in and sort me out. I was sad as a teenager, but I would become really sad as a twenty-something. Hopefully my thirties will be jolly.

#neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

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maribatshipper · 4 years ago

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A dare to help everyone

Ladybug: Kim, I have a dare for you. Kim, grinning: I never back down from a dare! Ladybug: I dare you to find out Hawk Moth’s secret identity.

Gabriel Agreste was arrested the next day.

Kim was a weird Jock. Taking dares left and right. Normal, right? Not when the superheroine of your city hears about it and dares you to find out the identity of her arch-nemesis.

It started normal enough for a Parisian day. With the Akuma attack near the school Kim goes to. What is different, though, is he was dared to get close to Ladybug and take a picture of her with an annoying face, then delete the picture, which happened. Imagine his shock when the blue-haired heroine asks him something.

“You’re Kim, right? That kid that is always dared to do something weird?” Ladybug asks.

Kim nods, “Yeah, that’s me.”

Ladybug smirks, “Kim, I have a dare for you.”

Kim grins. Dares are one thing, but dares from Ladybug, the superheroine of Paris? Hasn’t even been heard of.

“I never back down from a dare!” Kim grins.

“I dare you to find out Hawk Moth’s secret identity.” Ladybug smirks.

Kim blinks. It was genius. Why hasn’t anyone else dared him this? He agrees wholeheartedly.

***

After a few hours investigating possible suspects, he’s banging his head against his desk. He’s narrowed it down to Bob Roth, Alec Cataldi, Vincent whats-his-name that shoots Adrien’s photos, XY, and Gabriel Agreste. He picks up his phone and dials a number.

“Yes? I am busy, Kim.” A monotone voice announces.

Kim cuts to the chase, “I was dared by Ladybug to find out Hawk Moth’s identity and I need your help.”

“We’re on our way.”

Barely two minutes later, a knock is heard on Kim’s door. He opens it to reveal Max and Markov.

“We are ready to assist. Do you have any suspects?”

Kim nods, dragging Max over to his chart which you would normally see in a conspiracy theorists home.

“I’ve been working on this for hours. I’ve narrowed the list down to Adrien’s photographer, Alec the show host, Bob Roth, XY, and Adrien’s Dad.” Kim frowns.

Max frowns, “You can take XY off the list. He doesn’t have enough brains to even think of using that kind of power. Vincent has no motive and is normally angry when an Akuma interrupts the photoshoot. Alec is a risk-taker, but he has no motive and wouldn’t risk getting targeted so many times. Bob Roth and Gabriel Agreste are the most likely candidates. But I don’t believe Bob Roth is creative enough to create any Akuma costumes. Gabriel’s fashion line is going slowly downhill, like the Akuma designs, so I believe Gabriel Agreste is our most likely candidate.”

Just as Max, Kim, and Markov discuss who Hawk Moth might be, another Akuma attack happens. The boys exchange glances and run outside to the Akuma. After Ladybug purifies the Akuma, Kim runs after the purified butterfly, Max barely keeping up. Kim loses the butterfly around the Agreste mansion.

“I have an idea!” Kim exclaims.

***

The next day, Gabriel Agreste is being dragged out of his house by the police.

“What are you doing? I have my rights! I haven’t done anything!” Gabriel yells.

“You are under arrest for hiring an underage model illegally, forcing your son who is still under the legal age to work any kind of job to model for your industry, exceeding the strict working hours, terrorising the entire city, child abuse,…”

The cop drones on with the number of laws Gabriel broke. Adrien frowns at his father, anger just radiating off his body. Juleka’s talking with her brother about adopting Adrien into the family. Marinette walks up to Kim, Alya close on her heels.

“How’d you know it was Gabriel Agreste?” Marinette asks.

Kim and Max exchange a glance.

*flashback*

At 2300, Kim, who is dressed in black ninja clothes covering his face, with a small camera on the shirt, crawls through the window of Adrien’s room and sneaks through the mansion. He makes it to Gabriel’s room, where Gabriel Agreste is dead to the world.

“If only he were dead.” Kim thinks.

He walks towards the office Gabriel works in and walks up to the painting.

“Max?” He whispers.

In the earpiece he wears, Max responds, “There should be some trigger or something. Touch the painting until you find a crevice of some kind.”

“Eh?”

“Move your fingers around the painting until it makes a strange bump.”

Kim complies, moving his fingers around the painting, finding a few parts that shouldn’t feel like that. They feel kind of like buttons. He positions his fingers until just over them all and pushes them in, causing the floor to move beneath him, like an elevator. His eyes widen.

“I bet Adrien doesn’t know about this.” Kim frowns.

“Keep searching. If he truly is Hawk Moth, this would explain where he hides.” Max frowns.

Kim walks until he comes across a glass coffin and pales. But it’s not the coffin that sends fear up his spine. It’s what’s in the coffin.

“Max… Are you seeing this?”

“This is impossible… She’s been dead for more than a year already. How is her body still there, not even a sign of decay? Adrien can’t have known about this. We have to get this evidence to the police now.” Max orders.

Suddenly, there is a noise nearby. Kim hides behind a tree near the coffin. He watches as Gabriel Agreste walks towards the coffin. Two questions going through Kim’s mind is, “Why is he fully clothed? Why isn’t he in his pyjamas?” Then he notices a little butterfly creature floating next to him, who looks an awful lot like Xuppu.

“Emelie, soon I will have the Miraculous and be able to bring you back. I thought Adrien was Cat Noir. I was wrong, thankfully. Just a little longer and you will be back in my arms again.” Gabriel frowns.

Nooroo notices the boy in black but refuses to let his master know. While Gabriel is busy talking to Emelie’s body, he flies over to the boy.

“The Miraculous is his brooch. You have to stop him, please!” Nooroo whispers before flying back over to Gabriel before he notices he’s gone.

“Nooroo, Dark Wings Rise!” Gabriel exclaims, causing Nooroo to get sucked into the Miraculous, transforming Gabriel into Hawk Moth.

“That is enough proof, Kim. You have to get out of there! Now!” Max exclaims into the earpiece.

“Not until I get his Miraculous to give to Ladybug.” Kim whispers back.

Markov inputs, “I would not recommend staying. There is an 89% chance you will be captured if you do not escape.”

Kim waits for a few hours until Hawk Moth detransforms and goes back up into the house. He waits another ten minutes before walking out of his hiding place.

“I’m going up, guys.” Kim frowns.

He quickly runs towards the elevator and pushes the button to go up into the house. He then sneaks into Gabriel’s room, quickly running to the closet. Gabriel walks in, buttoning up his pyjama shirt. Gabriel places the Miraculous into a small box, making Nooroo disappear. Gabriel then lies down on the bed, falling asleep.

“Kim, I do not recommend moving from your spot for the next thirty minutes. If you make any noise, he will wake up. He has to enter REM before you can move.”

Kim doesn’t understand exactly but complies anyway. The nerd knows best, after all. After thirty minutes, Max tells Kim he can move, so he opens the door to the closet and takes the miraculous, running out of the room as fast as he can. He then opens the box and pins the Miraculous onto his shirt.

“What are you doing, Kim?”

“Hawk Moth has a helper. We need to get that Miraculous as well. I’m asking the Kwami to take me to it.”

Nooroo forms in front of Kim.

“Thank you, new Master.”

Kim asks, “Where’s the Peacock?”

Nooroo answers, “Follow me.”

Kim follows Nooroo to the painting of Emelie, who tries to pull the painting. Kim helps him, showing a safe.

“How do we get into the safe?”

“There are many possible combinations-”

Nooroo phases through the safe and opens it, showing a book, tickets to Tibet, and the peacock Miraculous. Nooroo tosses both the Miraculous and the book to Kim.

“You need to get this book to Ladybug’s hands. Can you do that?”

Kim nods and runs back to Adrien’s room, where he jumps out the window and runs.

*End Flashback*

“It was quite difficult. But long story short, you give me a dare, I follow it through.” Kim smirks.

Alya smirks, “I dare you to find out the identity of Ladybug!”

Kim and Max exchange amused looks.

“Already done. But we’re not telling you.”

Alya groans, “Why not?!”

Max answers, “I dared him to never tell anyone her identity.” giving Marinette a side glance.

***

Later that day, both Max and Kim are wearing the Miraculous, talking to the Kwamis, when there is a knock on the window. The boys turn around to see Ladybug. They open the window, pulling her in quickly. “Ladybug, we are so glad you’re here.” Kim smiles.

“You completed my dare. I’m impressed.”

Max smiles, “It was nothing, Marinette.”

Ladybug’s eyes widen in shock.

“What? I’m not Marinette.”

Kim scoffs, “Yeah you are. I noticed every time Ladybug appeared, Marinette was never around. Markov confirmed it. But we won’t tell anyone. Here. You have to keep the Miraculous out of the bad guy’s hands.”

He pulls the Moth Miraculous off his shirt and hands it to Ladybug, Nooroo flying into the Miraculous.

“If you ever need us, we’ll be here, ready to assist.” Max smiles, giving her the peacock, Duusu flying into it.

#Gabriel capture #Kim figures it out #Miraculous Ladybug #Hawk Moth #Gabriel Agreste #Nooroo #Duusu #Ladybug #Marinette #Alya #submission

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totaldramafan-lauri · 3 years ago

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Friday Night Funkin’: Mid-Fight Masses VS. Lina outline

So.....I said I wouldn’t ever write again.....b-but things changed. I-I got.....ideas, and was.....e-encouraged to write them out. >//////>

I dunno how to really.....explain what this is. I know I won’t ever be able to make my own mod, this is just.....what one would look like if I could. This is going in my fic tag, but it’s not a full-blown fic. It’s a script. B-but that still counts as writing for me, so....into the fic tag it goes.

This makes more sense if you read Lina’s profile, so you better understand who she is, but it’s not a requirement (also that profile is pretty big, pfffff). I....I think this still gives a pretty good picture of what she’s like.....?

I might do more with her in the future. MIGHT. W-we’ll see.....I do have a few ideas, it’s just a matter of motivation.....I do know that future stories would take place after the events here.

S-so, uh.....that’s about it. I’m happy that I got this outta my system, after it’s been in my head for weeks. X////D I-I went through, like....three different “drafts”, before settling on this, so.....e-enjoy, I guess!

( @fnf-writing-and-simping H-hey, it’s me, you don’t have to read if you don’t want, b-but.....I did finish it! - Zavonon)

~Intro~

Succumbing to my own fears and worries I’m in the background of my own story In these pages, I spill them, refill them Feelings I won’t share When it’s too much to bear Wishing to be someone I can never be Hopeless dreams that I chase wholeheartedly Why must I yearn for things out of my reach?

???: Little Lina?

*Lina looks up from her notebook to see Sarvente looking at her, and she quickly closes it. The church is completely empty aside from the two of them*

Lina: M-Ms. Sarvente-

Sarvente: Services are over for the day!

Lina: O-OK... S-sorry, lost track of time again...

Sarvente: It’s quite alright! You know how much I appreciate your company, little Lina. Thank you for all your help!

Lina: *looks away shyly* I-it’s no problem...*she stands up and heads for the door, although she also seems to look around a bit*

Sarvente: Have a good week~!

*Lina looks over her shoulder and waves at Sarvente*

*Once outside, Lina looks back at the church again, opens her notebook, and writes in a new page, humming to herself the rhythm of the song she was writing to keep it in her head*

Just left. I didn’t see him at all today...Weren’t that many people there in general, though.

*Lina sighs sadly and looks back in front of her, only to see herself face-to-face with....*

Boyfriend: Beep bo?

Lina: *yelps and jumps back* AH! Wh-what!?

Boyfriend: Beep?

Lina: A-ah, s-sorry for yelling....y-you surprised me.....*she takes a second to catch her breath* U-uh.....who....?

Boyfriend: Bop bo beep!

Lina: .....S-sorry, I didn’t quite- hear that, uh....I-if you were going over there, uh....S-services just ended, so....uh....*mumbling (symbolized by smaller text)* y-yeah.....*starts to walk away*

Girlfriend: What were you writing?

Lina: *she immediately brings her notebook to her chest protectively* H-huh? E-excuse me-?

Boyfriend: *steps towards her curiously* Bop bop bo bee-

Lina: *steps back* I-I wasn’t writing anything!

Boyfriend: Skadop beep!

Lina: N-no, I wasn’t writing anything!

Girlfriend: My boyfriend wants to know if you write music! And if you do, could you show him?

Lina: *she feels her heart skip a beat as she’s found out by crazy random chance* I....I-I don’t-

Boyfriend: Boop

Lina: N-no, wait-

~First song: Preamble~ On the slower side, but still has a rhythm to it (I’d imagine it picks up a bit after a certain point, but not by much). Like in “Lo-Fight”, Boyfriend starts. The song fits Lina’s shy, reserved personality as she clearly is very nervous singing. Her inexperience at rapping makes the song pretty simple and easy to beat. There are a few long notes in there to make it sound like she’s singing at parts.

Lina: O-oh gosh, I can’t believe I did that....ah, so embarrassing.....!

Boyfriend: Bop beep bo beep!

Girlfriend: You have a really nice voice.

Lina: D-don’t lie to me please....Th-that was awful....*hides her face in her hand*

Boyfriend: Beep beep

Lina: S-sorry.....but, um....please leave me alone- *turns to walk away, but Boyfriend and Girlfriend follow her*

Girlfriend: You should sing more!

Lina: S-stop.....

Girlfriend: But you should!

Lina: N-no I shouldn’t!

Lina: P-please go away....I’m....n-not good at anything....

Boyfriend: Beep ba?

Lina: I-I’m just a huge coward....th-that’s all I am, a coward.....I-I can’t handle stuff like this....

Lina: Ms. Sarvente would know what to do.....Sh-she’s probably better than me at everything....

Lina: *stops walking* .....

Boyfriend: ?

Girlfriend: ?

Lina: O-OK....I’ll try again....if it’ll make you leave....

~Second song: Envious~ A lot faster and more difficult than the previous song, with some rapid-fire back and forth. The most difficult song of the mod, but not overwhelmingly so. There’s at least one nod to “Parish”. The mood is that Lina is pushing herself too far to the point of stress. She’s not having a good time.

*after the song ends, Lina is completely out of breath*

Lina: *panting* W-was.....that.....good....enough....?

Boyfriend: Boop ba beep?

Lina: I-I’m.....OK.....j-just gimme a second.....*huff huff*.....S-see? I told you, I’m...not good at this....

Girlfriend: Well, you didn’t need to try so hard. It’s not a competition.

Lina: N-not a-?

Girlfriend: Yeah! We just wanted to hear you sing more!

Boyfriend: Beep beep!

Lina: ....Y-you weren’t trying to bother me? O-oh...

Lina: I-I’m sorry.....I might’ve gone a bit overboard....Th-that isn’t how I usually, uh.....*too embarrassed to finish the sentence*

Girlfriend: You’re still really good.

Lina: I-I’m not....th-this is just a hobby I do when I’m alone....I-if you really wanna listen to someone who’s talented and confident, you should....go see Ms. Sarvente sometime....Sh-she’s looking for new members anyway....

Boyfriend: ......Skbeep?

Lina: .....Th-that reaction.....Do you know Ms. Sarvente?

Boyfriend: Beep!

Girlfriend: We’ve....met her, yeah.

Lina: .....O-oh.....gosh, I didn’t know! I-I’m so sorry! I-I thought you were just- uh- I-I’m sorry!

Boyfriend: B-boop boop ba!

Lina: Th-there I go, being a nuisance again.....Ha...hahaha.....*she smiles for once as she laughs nervously*

Lina: I really am sorry....I-I’ve never seen you before at the church, so I didn’t know.....

Girlfriend: It’s fine. We were just passing by, when we heard you humming.

Lina: Th-this whole thing’s been a mess....I-I’ve been so rude, crap.....

Lina: Why am I always like this....

Boyfriend: Beep beep?

Lina: H-huh....did you say something about.....one last song....?

Lina: Ummm....uh.....*she looks around to see if there’s anyone else around, doesn’t see anyone*......S-sure.....J-just for fun this time. And to put this behind us....OK?

Boyfriend: Ba beep!

~Third song: Unwind~ Easier and slower-paced than the last song. Has a laid-back feel to it. If I had to compare it to something, I’d compare it to “Fading”, but less bittersweet. Lina’s calming down and warming up to Boyfriend, and maybe even enjoying herself for once! There’s more singing than rapping. It’s symbolizing that she’s staying more in her comfort zone rather than unfairly pushing herself.

Lina: I-I hope that was better...

Boyfriend: Beep bop ba bop!

Lina: S-sorry again for being such a coward....Y-you two don’t seem so bad....Uh, I hope it’s OK to say that...

Girlfriend: Will you sing again sometime?

Lina: .....I, um.....dunno....*which means: “probably not”*

Lina: B-but.....this was.....kinda fun, I guess.....

Girlfriend: We had a good time, too! What’s your name?

Lina: Oh, uh.....I-I’m Lina....

Girlfriend: Well, maybe we’ll see you around sometime, Lina!

Boyfriend: Beep beep!

Lina: Uh....y-yeah....? M-maybe....

*Boyfriend and Girlfriend leave, satisfied with what they heard. Lina awkwardly waves at them as a goodbye*

Lina: *mumbling* Whew....here’s hoping I never have to do something like that again....

*Lina begins to walk away, but looks back at the church (in her worry that her and Boyfriend had been too loud)....and sees a tall figure in the window...Is that who she thinks it is? In her curiosity, she steps closer to get a better look, and sure enough...*

Ruv: ...

*noticing that he’s looking right at her, Lina’s cheeks flush bright red and her eyes widen, as she looks back at him like a deer in headlights*

Lina: ...

Ruv: ...

Lina: ... *looks away, blushing even more*

*gripping her notebook (which she’d been holding this whole time) tightly, she turns and runs away as fast as she can*

Why must I yearn for things out of my reach...?

*the mod closes with a screen that says “Dedicated to dokki.doodlez”*

#fics by lauri #mid fight masses #mid fight masses oc

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edka88 · 3 years ago

Text

Reflection

(short story for The Phantom of the Opera, originally posted on fanfiction.net)

Summary: It came as no surprise that he was a wanted criminal, and yet it was not him who had been found out.

Pairing: Christine/Erik

Rating: T

Note: Story takes place on 21st February.

– o –

Untread snow crumpled beneath her feet as Christine turned to the street on her right, then the sound repeated somewhat softer as her husband followed her around the corner.

A light breeze caught into her coat as now there were no buildings to block the wind, but then in only two steps Erik caught up with her and the cold torrent ceased as his body blocked it from hers.

It was a lovely view, this quiet street, and it was difficult to believe that such a place could exist so close to the bustle of the city center. People were nowhere to be seen at this hour, although it was early afternoon, and the arrangement of the buildings strengthened the feeling of comfort and secrecy: most of them were situated at the back of the sites, and many of them were surrounded by carefully tended gardens. Christine believed that she wouldn't have been able to spot these buildings themselves had it not been for winter, when most trees stood bare.

The rest of the houses, that stood proudly displayed to the audience of the streets, were huge, two-storey buildings; not exactly mansions, yet the design left no doubt of the wealth of the owners. It only added to the ambiance of nobility that there were nice, long heaps running along the length of the main road – flowerbeds, she concluded, that must be overflowing with colorful blossoms in spring and summer.

Far in the distance a man appeared in what seemed to be some sort of uniform and her heart leapt to her throat; then a moment later she let out the breath she was holding when the man, instead of walking up to the main entrance as a policeman would have done, disappeared at the side door of the building.

A footman.

Her stomach shrunk into a knot.

Even a smaller house in this area must cost a fortune.

“Such an illustrious neighbourhood,” she murmured, trying to fight down the heat that started to spread to her cheeks. “We shouldn't even be here.”

“You don't wish to live at a place like this?” Her husband's voice was subdued as he asked her, as if he guarded carefully how much emotion he should show.

“That's not what I meant,” she replied, venturing a quick glance to the side to look at him. His eyes were trained to the ground beneath their feet. “This is a lovely street but we cannot possibly afford to buy a house here; better not to look around at all.”

Erik looked up at her and for a moment it seemed he was startled to find she had been watching him. “Don't worry about the money,” he said with a dismissive gesture of his hand. “You merely need to choose a house to your liking.”

“I didn't even have a dowry,” she muttered, ducking her face a little lower as if to shelter it from the wind.

“It never occurred to me to expect anything like that from you,” he replied, continuing his even pace.

She followed him, wordless for a moment, struggling with the now definitely present blush on her cheeks. “Respectable women have at least a moderate sum to offer to their future husband,” she ventured to say at last.

“I didn't want to marry you to buy acceptance into society's standards,” he said, indignation clouding his words. “I wanted nothing more than your love,” he added softly a moment later.

Such a guileless confession – and such an even tone.

Only when she stole a brief glance to the side did she notice the soft tremor of his throat as he swallowed.

She reached out to take his hand and his fingers closed around hers immediately.

“It isn't just for my sake that you wish to buy a house, is it?” she asked, clearing her throat to hide the slight waver of her voice.

He shook his head. “I've never really been particularly fond of having to hide in the cellars,” he said, his eyes examining the faraway distance of the winding street.

The cold wave of a memory, from not so long ago, ran down her spine, and a moment later the ghost of his raging voice flitted in from the back of her mind.

No compassion anywhere...

No. Not fond of, indeed.

Beside her, he continued to march ahead without saying another word, and the two of them passed a site with a high brick wall that completely blocked the garden and the mansion within its walls from the prying eyes of any passers-by. Next, they passed an intricately woven wrought iron railing that guarded a meticulously arranged garden; then walked by another site with a dense hedge that completely blocked the sight of the house of the road: in fact, it would have been difficult to say if there was any house on the other side of it at all.

What are we doing here?

It seemed unlikely that anyone would want to sell their property in a district like this.

Previously they had agreed to take a long walk in the city when he would show her a couple of houses that were up for sale, suited their needs, and possibly their taste, too. And... he had even suggested finding a house in the city center and so near the opera house as well, reasoning that having to make long journeys every day from home to work would consume an unnecessary amount of time and energy – and consequently would pose an unnecessary threat of being recognized. Her sudden disappearance after the fire she could explain – her similarly sudden reappearance on the side of a wanted criminal she could not.

Next to her, he kept walking forward in silence. From time to time, he looked up from the path they walked and glanced around, and she wondered if he had heard something she had not, or it was just his usual wariness. Once he even turned around to check something behind their back and she tried to ignore the tingle of worry when it crept beneath her coat and galloped down her spine.

It was foolish to come here at all.

Getting caught was a very real possibility, with him being the most wanted person in whole Paris, and during daytime, nonetheless! However few people moved around the city in this awful cold, and however low the sky was, the disaster of the opera house was no doubt still fresh in people's minds and according to the newspapers, gendarmes kept patrolling the streets in search of the Phantom.

She shuddered and pulled the coat tighter around herself.

Depending on how close an attention the newspapers paid to her character and her wordless disappearance, she might as well be a similarly sought person. Deemed either victim or accessory, she would be probably taken to the first gendarmerie to provide her testimony, but considering the damage done to the opera house, she doubted she could say anything that would alter the verdict against him.

If they believed she had been taken as a victim...

The street swayed in front of her eyes.

To think she wholeheartedly believed all would be forgotten in a matter of weeks, and she could pretend to have married to a reclusive businessman...

She glanced back, half-expecting of having to run in mere seconds.

Nothing.

The street was still completely empty behind them.

She turned back to look forward at the sound of some distinct, but rhythmic sound... Clatter...? Thumps...?

In the end she saw the source sooner than she had the chance to decipher it: two gendarmes rounded the next corner and were now marching down the street – right towards the two of them.

Erik's hand tensed in hers immediately but he continued to walk forward and her throat began to close up.

“We should... turn back,” she choked, her knees weakening.

“Should we do so, they'll surely come after us,” he muttered, still walking forward.

“We cannot stay here, either,” she wheezed, quickening her steps to keep up with his pace. Still, he continued ahead.

“That's why we are going into one of the houses,” he replied, his steps unfaltering.

Why towards them?!

Strength ran out of her legs and her knees wobbled but she forced her feet to continue walking next to him, who was still adamant on walking to the direction of the gendarmes.

“But... but the owners would call the gendarmes just the same,” she began to protest but then froze when a gust of wind caught into the top of her hair – she was not wearing her hood.

Cold flooded her veins with the next heartbeat.

Her name had surely been printed on the first page of every newspaper – but was there her picture, too?

She shuddered – and immediately felt the soft squeeze of his fingers around her now definitely trembling hand.

“Not if the house is empty,” came his reassuring words as he suddenly stopped in front of the gate of the next... garden?

But no, a house stood there somewhere, too; beyond the long line of the trees tracing the lines of the fence. Should it have been summer, it would have been impossible to tell that a house belonged to the property, too.“This one happens to be uninhabited.”

She looked up – the gendarmes were now only about six houses from them.

“How can you be so sure?”

“The baron who had this house built left for Scotland,” came his reply.

“But they would surely find it strange to see someone walk into an empty house,” she objected as he reached into his pocket. Something gave a jumbled, clanking sound and he pulled out a strange-looking set of keys from the folds of his cloak and inserted one of the keys into the lock on the gate.

“The baron is a rather eccentric man, but he is wealthy enough to practice his peculiarities undisturbed,” he said, twisting the handle to the side a little. “Besides, we will leave through the back door earlier than they can decide whether to risk the ire of the rightful owner.” The lock gave way and the gate opened in less than a moment. With one hand he motioned for her to enter while he reached up to adjust the hood of his cloak with the other – and as he did so, his coat sleeve flitted to the side just a little so that she could also see the sleeve of his jacket and...

A cold tremor started at her nape and then quickly poured down into her stomach in several tingling rivulets.

The rope.

It was dangling hidden inside his sleeve.

She snapped back to the present a long second later at the weight of his sight on her face. His eyes turned to a dark shade of green with the turmoil of emotions swirling in them – and they stood out brightly from his suddenly deathly pale countenance.

“I won't subject you to witness such a gruesome scene,” he whispered, lowering his arm slowly.

She could only manage a brief nod.

The rhythmic steps were now only the distance of a few houses from them. Her hand twitched with the intention to pull down her hood as well before she remembered that she had forgotten about it altogether.

What if they already recognized me?

And if one of those men recognized her, surely they had no doubts of the identity of her mysterious companion.

There was no picture in yesterday's paper.

But she had missed out five days' worth of news before that.

Through the haze that seemed to cover her eyes she saw how he closed the gate and then swiftly locked it. “Pretend you belong here,” came his whisper, and he made a half-gesture to usher her in, but then his arm dropped before it touched her. “Come,” he breathed, and turned to leave towards the front door.

The footsteps on the street moved even closer, and through the row of trees she saw the two dark shadows approaching and finally reaching the front of the garden they had just walked into.

Pretend you belong here.

Her heart beat in her stomach and she wondered how unladylike it would be to be sick on the street.

Should she be recognized, they would surely arrest him – or worse: shoot him immediately. She would be considered as an accomplice – in which case he would likely insist he had abducted her and forced her into marriage. Briefly she wondered if even such a monstrosity could worsen his already long list of crimes.

She swallowed and pretended not to notice the bitter taste gathering in the back of her mouth.

“Go and open the front door,” she choked out.

“I'm not leaving you here,” he replied before she could even finish the sentence.

Air knotted in her throat. The gendarmes were only a few meters away.

“It would be more than suspicious if the two of us disappeared in the house all of a sudden but we cannot stay outside, either,” she reasoned.

Yet, he still didn't move. “It is not your – “

She whirled around, now facing him. “They cannot find you!” She managed to force out and was dimly aware that her vision was blurred by tears. “Please.”

A shadow passed over his eyes that echoed in a squeeze around her chest, but finally, with one last distressed glance at her, he left. Cold air bit at her lashes as she blinked back the tears and turned around so that the gendarmes, who meanwhile had reached the gate, would surely see her face. She stood by the closed gate and pretended to be inspecting one of the rose bushes when the gendarmes stopped on the opposite side of the gate.

On the very edge of her vision appeared a strange, indistinct dark spot, wavering; it took her a few heartbeats of time to realize that it was nothing definite but the work of her mind – similar to what she had seen that only time when she had fainted in her life. The buzzing in her ears grew louder, too, so much so that she rather saw it than heard when one of the gendarmes had spoken to her. “For a minute, mademoiselle.”

Dread cascaded down her spine with every heartbeat.

Would she be sentenced to death, too, for trying to protect her love?

“It's madame,” she corrected with a smile she hoped passed as kind, and stepped away from the bush.

“Madame,” the man corrected with a stiff nod. “About a week ago a young lady disappeared in the city...” The man's sight slowly slipped from her face and then slid down the length of her hair. “You seem to bear a striking resemblance to her...”

Damn those newspapers.

The heart that seemed to burst from her chest just a minute ago now appeared to have stopped entirely, but the terror that was surely visible on her face must have been interpreted for something else, as the man didn't finish the last sentence but stumbled to a halt and cleared his throat before continuing, “You have been stopped for the very same reason before, perhaps?”

“I have been subjected to a few peculiar stares, yes,” she said, swallowing hastily when her heart gave a forceful leap as if it had just started to beat again indeed.

“The city has been in the utmost turmoil in the last week as she is a promising talent and is rumored to have been kidnapped by a lunatic. It would be strange if you hadn't heard about it...” The gendarme's voice trailed off with what appeared to be suspicion, and he gave her a long look from head to toe before his gaze slipped from her and started to scrutinize something behind her back.

Air was suddenly squeezed from her throat.

Pretend you belong here.

“Poor thing,” she managed to breathe, barely able to control the tremor in her knees. She managed to resist closing her eyes before she ventured, “You see, my husband and I have arrived home just an hour ago and we haven't had time yet to catch up with the latest news of the city.”

For a moment a bewildered shadow passed across the gendarme's face and his eyes flitted back to her face. “Let me send someone to fetch you luggage,” he offered, a strange lilt tainting his voice.

“No, thank you. We already arranged for them to be carried here tomorrow,” she managed to bite out, then forced another smile through the swirl of her surroundings. The officer was staring back at her, his face blank.

Unconvinced.

She drew a deep breath.

Facts.

He cannot possibly doubt facts.

“My dear friend, the Comtesse of Cherbourg was kind enough to offer her coupé so that we don't have to hire a coach. She has not much use of it anyway, until she's out of town, you see,” she said, and finally a spark of interest appeared in the eyes of the gendarme.

“Oh, you are a friend of the Comtesse, madame?” Asked the man in front of her, and suddenly she felt the weight of another pair of eyes on her – the younger officer was watching her now, too. She swallowed the urge to shift on her feet.

The Comtesse was a well-known, respected patron of the fine arts and her salon was one of the most illustrious venues of the artists in whole Paris. But... anyone could say she was a friend of the renowned lady.

Facts.

“Why, indeed!” She cried, allowing herself a small sweep of her hand as if to emphasize the statement, then reached for the fringe of her shawl to hide the trembling of her fingers. “I have known her for quite a while now; we got acquainted years back when we were both visiting Saint Tropez. I have been in correspondence with her ever since then.”

The men stood a little taller at that, but the eyes of the older gendarme narrowed almost imperceptibly.

“And yet she has failed to mention to you the huge disaster that happened in the opera house?” he asked, taking a close look at her hair. “There was a most dreadful scandal.”

Facts.

She tried to take a breath through the lump that seemed to have formed in her throat within only a few heartbeats.

“I'm afraid she's just as ignorant of it as myself. She has left the city on the 12th,” she replied, aiming to sound indignant when her voice wavered. “I expect you would remember the date as before leaving, her husband had made such a generous anonymous donation to the gendarmerie for having recovered Mme de Cherbourg's lost necklace.”

A terrifying moment of silence followed –

– that finally ended with the defeated slouch of the shoulders of the uniformed man in front of her.

“Do forgive my impertinence, madame; I have seen the picture of Mademoiselle Daaé and I was misled by the startling similarity of your features. I apologize,” said the man, bowing deeply in front of her, and his colleague echoed the movement.

Euphoria of hard-earn triumph flooded her veins, only to be extinguished by the cold reality of guilt a moment later. She had misled a man – a man of law! – and now he was the one who feared the consequences.

Would saving a life condone a string of lies?

Nevertheless, it was rather unlikely that this now remorseful and humble man would feel even a shred of compassion should he know the truth – and should she be begging for the life of her love.

“I wish you would refrain from drawing such hasty conclusions based on appearance, gentlemen,” she replied, covering the weakness of her voice with adding just a touch of resentment. Her pretence must have worked, because the senior officer clapped his ankles before bowing again in front of her.

“Once again, I beg your forgiveness, madame,” he said when he straightened.

She waved a dismissive hand and hoped it was close enough to aristocratic to be convincing. “Let us forget about it.” When the officer bowed again, anger began to swell in her chest, and it successfully extinguished the last remnants of guilt.

All because you believe I have a title...

Pulling back her shoulders, she rose to her full height. “And now, gentlemen, if you don't mind, I wish to retire. The baron and I have just arrived from Scotland.”

“Certainly.” Her interrogator gestured to his companion, who bowed a quick farewell to her. “A good day to you, baroness,” replied the senior officer.

“And to you, gentlemen,” she replied with a cold smile, and turned to leave.

She managed to keep her gait nobly graceful exactly until the door closed behind her, then she collapsed against the frame.

Blood was pounding in her ears, but she only heard every second beat through her own gasps for air.

The quickly gathering twilight threw the room into an eerie semi-darkness, but even so it was easy to make out the shadowy form of her husband as he was turning back from the curtain.

And the gloomy expression on the unmasked side of his face.

“Are you feeling all right?” He asked, marching to her side.

“I think so,” she replied, and listened to the low hum of her heartbeats in her ears. “Are they gone?”

“Yes.” One of his hands rose from his side but then it fell back without touching her. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here.”

“It's not your fault they happened to walk by.”

“It's my fault they were looking for us in the first place.”

“They were not really looking for either of us,” she corrected, swallowing between two gasps. “I think they were only on their usual patrol in the district. If anything, it was my naivety that roused their suspicion.”

His visible brow furrowed. “You haven't done anything.”

“I wasn't wearing my hood,” she replied, burying her face in her palm, and then sweeping her hand down her cheek while letting out a deep sigh.

When at last she raised her eyes again she met his gaze, dark with concern. “Did they recognize you?” He asked.

“My picture must have been all over the papers,” she muttered.

He swallowed but then said nothing for long moments.

Outside, a little bird began to trill its evening song.

Somewhere a dog was barking.

“How did they leave, then?” Broke his voice the silence in the room at last.

“A few days before the premier...” Her voice tapered off and he turned away with a sigh, nodding that he knew exactly which premier she had meant. “I overheard a conversation between M. Andre and the Comte de Cherbourg on the corridor. He said they wouldn't be able to come to the theater for the next one month or so as they are about to leave for Venice to visit Mme. De Cherbourg's mother.” Christine shook her head, guilt once more prodding at her conscience. “I... heard enough to convince the officer I was a friend of the Comtess.”

“You said he recognized you,” he protested, his voice carefully even, but the hint of worry was still unmistakable.

“He wasn't sure. He alluded to the striking similarity between the appearance of the celebrated diva of the opera house and me and I didn't object.” He turned away with a sigh, and one of his hands lifted to rake his fingers through the hair of the wig. She wondered whether he did so often, too, when he wasn't wearing it. “He was rather suspicious,” she continued, “but I told him I heard nothing about the scandal because I was in Scotland.” His head snapped up to look at her with a look of utter appreciation in his eyes, but a moment later it was wiped away by a dark shadow that passed his eyes. He looked away hastily. “He didn't really believe me until I told him that the countess couldn't have possibly written to me about it as she had left the city two days before all had happened. I assume it didn't hurt, either, that I knew about the secret donation that M Cherbourg offered to the gendarmerie before leaving the city.”

“I see,” he said softly, still not looking at her. His fingers flexed and then curled into a fist at his side.

She tried to peer above his shoulder and out of the window to check the street.

Nothing.

“Do you think they'll come back?” She asked, realizing too late that she would rather not hear the answer.

He shook his head. “Should they have not believed you, they would have taken you right away, and they surely wouldn't have risked letting me escape while they run for reinforcement. You did very well,” he said, but although the words were clearly spoken to praise her, they lacked the warm tone that had always been present whenever he complimented her performance.

Her heart continued to beat with an empty longing for a few more breaths, but then he turned away again and took a few staggering steps towards the windows.

“We'll wait for ten minutes, and then leave through the back door,” he said, still with his back to her.

Dusk was now gathering faster with every minute, and his shadow in front of the window seemed to be longer with each passing minute as he stood there without another word.

A few minutes later she ventured another look out to the street, straining her eyes not to miss the arriving gendarmes as they lined up to run into the house, but just as before, nobody was outside on the porch, nor in the front garden.

A curtain of flakes brushed against the window as a gust of wind swept the snow from a nearby tree.

Silence thrummed in her ears.

She was standing inside the house that belonged to that garden outside; the garden of the eccentric baron who had left for Scotland, and whose imaginary wife she had been for five long minutes.

Eccentric.

What could that possibly mean?

Slowly, she looked around in the almost empty room that was most probably the drawing room. True, it was smaller than a regular drawing room (and certainly not as spacious as the parlor in Raoul's mansion), but the two large windows to the garden offered a refreshing view to nature outside and allowed light into the room. To her left, there was a huge fireplace whose ornamental resembled that of the pillars of the front porch. Then – right in front of her – a wooden staircase led upstairs, the top of it disappearing in the gathering twilight.

Just a few more minutes now, and they would be leaving.

She shuddered.

Hopefully the gendarmes were not lingering just around the corner, waiting for the two of them.

Never before had she spoken to any member of the authorities. Now she had – but had only done so to deceive them. She cringed to think what people would think to learn that meek Christine Daaé had fabricated a lie detailed enough to convince the two gendarmes. Madame Giry, for one, would surely be disappointed in her.

Except that she had been already disillusioned when she had been told that she, Christine, was not going to marry Raoul, as everyone had presumed. What would Madame think if she knew that her dear protégé had fallen so low as to become a criminal herself?

A criminal.

Had she been so wealthy as the nonexistent baroness, would she be still considered a criminal by society's standards?

She sighed and looked up once more to Erik, who was still standing with his back to her, staring out of the window.

Her husband.

Would Father disapprove, too?

She had lied to the authorities to save her husband – and she succeeded. As incredible as it seemed, the gendarmes had believed her. Several minutes had passed since then, but apparently there were no gathering corps stationed just outside on the street.

Silence thrummed in her ears.

A few more minutes.

He continued to stand by the window but hidden by the wall, with his back to her. Was he not breathing? She could only make out the slight movement of his shoulders if she focused her eyes just a bit above them.

Her wrist twitched.

It seemed that it was darker around her with each breath she took.

“You said the baron is in Scotland?” She asked her husband finally.

His shoulders straightened and the unmasked side of his face turned towards her. “Indeed. Why do you ask?”

“I would rather look around than just stand here as we wait,” she replied, chancing another look to the street, then berating herself immediately for having not been able to resist. Still, there was nobody outside.

He nodded, and slowly walked over to the door, then she heard the soft click of the lock as he turned the key.

“Let me go first,” he said, and started towards her left, opening the door to a small room – a kitchen, as it turned out.

Room by room they looked around the house, always him entering first before letting her come after him and look around. As expected, nobody was there; in fact, nobody has been there for a very long time, if the dust gathering on the windowsills and the few shelves that were left there was any indication.

“Something is really... off... in this house, indeed,” she said, having just left the bathroom that opened from behind the staircase. The house was supplied with running water – not only cold but hot water as well! –, and the bathroom was equipped with the most up-to-date appliances: there was a free-standing bathtub right next to the basin, a delicate radiator stood in one of the corners; there was even an intricate box on the wall – most probably a towel warmer.

And all of this in an illustrious neighbourhood.

Yet the house was uninhabited.

Peeking up to his eyes she once more saw that strange shadow she had spotted right after the gendarmes had come up to the gate, but the features on the visible side of his face were carefully arranged to a composed expression.

She swallowed.

At that time she had been far too terrified to notice how familiar that look was. Something she had seen not so long before, and yet, a look that had reminded her more of a memory, something that had happened a lifetime ago...

He slowly rounded the stairs and stopped in the middle of the parlor. “There's no need to stay here any longer. Let us leave now,” he offered, and started for the door.

“Do you think we have time to take a quick look around upstairs as well?” She asked, coming after him and stopping next to the balustrade of the stairs.

He halted in his tracks but didn't turn immediately.

“Why going upstairs if the very place unnerves you?”

“It's not unnerving; it is just weird that such a luxurious house is empty. How long has it been up for sale?”

“For about a year,” he replied, and, looking around one last time he came up to her and they began to climb the stairs together.

It seemed that the shadows began to dissolve somewhat the higher they ascended, and as soon as they reached the top of the stairs she realized why: the wall to her left was made of glass entirely, the likewise glass-made door leading to a huge terrace of some sort, which was overlooking the garden. The railing that ran over the edge offered a nice half-cover against the prying eyes of the neighbours, and the garden beyond it was now shrouded in the thickening grey of the winter evening as the glass wall was facing to the east. Stepping closer she examined the terrace more closely: it was a spacious one, certainly big enough to hold a table and some chairs, although it was quite empty now. In the nook between the glass-wall and the railing stood a broom, covered with a thin sheet of snow.

A few frozen leaves waved on top of the taller trees of the garden.

What a view it can be when they are in full bloom: the first rays of sunshine just grazing the leaves and warming her skin on a summer morning. His eyes would shine probably an even brighter green than in the firelight...

A gust of wind whistled across the terrace, carrying a few browned leaves from a nearby tree and landing them on top of a pile of snow accumulated by the railing.

She shivered.

“The house is not haunted, is it?” She asked, turning back from the window: he had just returned from the other direction. At her questioning look he shook his head: the rooms were empty.

“Why would it be?” he said, standing to the side so that she could pass in front of him.

“Such a pleasant house, and yet nobody bought it for a year,” she said, sweeping one hand over the carved banister on top of the staircase as she passed towards the doors on her left.

“The baron is not the type of man who enjoys being surrounded by people,” came his reluctant voice from behind her back. “He had built the house only for himself and so it is far too small to accommodate a full household.”

His voice stopped and she halted, too, just barely peeking into the room behind the first door. It was a small room, but a rather pleasant one; it had a huge window to the south and to the west, too, so it was possibly the brightest room of the whole house.

Stepping back, she continued to the next door, but then stopped in the doorway: the room was now almost completely dark.

“I'll fetch a lantern in a minute,” he said, and with that he turned and descended on the stairs, only to reappear a few heartbeats later with an already lit lantern in his hand.

Walking up to her he raised the lantern in one hand while pushing the door wide open for her.

“Thank you,” she said. He nodded in reply, and when she stepped back into the room, he followed her.

The light of the lantern cast an orange shadow on the floor as they entered, and when she looked up, her eyes detected the last fading greys of the sunbeams' memory through the window.

A bedroom facing to the west.

A perfect place to watch the sunset together – maybe even from bed.

Blushing at the thought she quickly turned away, and took a few steps towards the other side of the chamber. A soft rustle accompanied her movements and the light wobbled closer, too, as he followed her.

“Is it not strange that nobody would fancy this house,” she said while walking up to the door on the side wall. Did it lead to an adjoining room? Or a wardrobe room, maybe...? “Even if this house has no room for a full household, an elderly gentleman might find it just fine, living on his own.”

“It is...” He began but then trailed off uncertainly. He was silent for a few heartbeats of time before starting again. “There are no servant rooms in the house, not even for a valet,” he blurted out at last. His voice was soft and sounded hesitant... A confession?

Because of a house we happen to occupy for a mere ten minutes?

And how would he know what kind of a person the baron was? Or that he had been in Scotland for at least a year by now?

With another step she was at the door now that led to the only yet-unseen room of the house. She pressed down on the handle, and as he entered the room behind her, light glittered back at her from the various appliances of a luxurious bathroom.

To her left, a huge window offered a view to the west sky and the neighbouring gardens and in front of her, there was a huge pan of empty wall, covered with what appeared to be tiny dots of decoration. Stepping closer she tried to examine the delicate pattern of the tapestry? the tyles? And as she leaned forward to see better, the light seemed to follow her slowly, until a moment later she took a startled step back as light flooded the whole room in a huge wave of brightness.

She heard a low grunt, followed by his murmur. “I forgot about the mirror.”

Air left her lungs is a sudden exhale. “This is not the first time you're here, is it?” She gasped out.

“No,” he admitted, but didn't look at her as he turned away from the mirror, his shoulders slouched.

Suddenly a cold wave washed over her back as the memories followed each other in a rapid succession in her mind: the keys, that he knew about the owner, that small movement how he twisted the handle of the gate upwards to open it...

“You don't already own this house, do you?” she breathed.

He let out a barely audible sigh and shook his head.

His eyes strayed towards her but then as soon as their eyes met, he averted his gaze. He took a tentative step to the side. “Sometimes it was really difficult to stop the madness – and sometimes I didn't even try to.” He lifted his free hand but then his arm fell back to his side a moment later. “I liked to believe you would eventually say yes, and moving to a real house seemed a reasonable next step after the wedding.” He lifted an arm as if to explain further, sweeping one hand across the air in a fluid movement. “I heard last year when the baron had left the country and I came here to see the house for myself. I've only ever come here two or three times, though.” He shifted on his feet as he looked away. “I haven't been here since last October.”

She shivered as suspicion ran down her spine. “Since I met Raoul?”

“Yes.”

The whispered word faintly echoed between them, and he was deliberately looking anywhere else but at her.

At last his gaze settled on her shoulder. “It would have been like looking into a mirror,” he muttered, and turned away hastily. “To be taunted by what I cannot have...”

Air trembled between her lips as she fought for her next breath, backing away a few steps until her back met the wall behind her. The tiles were cold against her palms and fingertips as she braced herself against them.

Since October...

But before then, he had been here a few times to...

She stopped that train of thought when a shudder shook her whole frame.

I've never really been particularly fond of having to hide in the cellars.

And yet he hadn't been here since last October.

The room seemed to sway in front of her eyes.

“You had so many mirrors back in the opera house,” she said at last, pushing away from the wall while taking a deep, long breath.

“For the sake of illusion,” he nodded, venturing a brief glance at her. “At some point I believed the place could look like a real home.”

“But they were always covered,” she remarked.

“At first they were not,” he said while turning back to her, stopping before he could be seen in the mirror. “I have lived with it long enough to learn how to ignore the sight.”

“I thought you had always hated to see...” She didn't finish the sentence, and a brief look of gratitude flitted across his eyes.

“I was far from being pleased by the sight; I just didn't care,” he explained, turning to the side so that only the unmasked side of his face was towards her.

“What happened?”

Briefly, his lips pulled into a smile, and he let out a deep sigh. “I had been wondering about the same thing for a long while.” Her stomach knotted as her heart began to beat in her throat at the words, and she waited with her breath held for him to continue, at the same time hoping that he would not.

And he did not, indeed; instead, he switched the lantern from his left to his right hand. The movement seemed unnecessary – but only until she realized it was so that he could now touch the ring on his finger lightly.

She swallowed uneasily but her throat was just as dry as a moment before.

“It took me about a month to realize I had fallen in love with you,” he said. “If I didn't have to see the truth ever so often it was easier to pretend that if I wanted it enough, one day you might...” He trailed off and it seemed he never meant to try and finish the sentence at all.

“You might have just told me,” she suggested gently.

He looked away and out of the window, shaking his head. “I hated myself for it. It was utterly disrespectful towards you and I was well aware of that fact. I didn't plan to let you know about it.”

“Why would it be disrespectful? To love someone...” Her voice began to waver and she trailed off before it could break completely.

“Because you are so kind-hearted, so stunningly beautiful, and I am...” He trailed off with a shake of his head but even so she couldn't miss noticing how his shoulders tensed. “It wasn't just my face I saw in the mirror; the rest was even more condemning. I didn't want to offend you by admitting I had the gall to dream of your love.” His voice rang soft and even, but the furtive look he stole in her direction was enough for her to catch a glimpse of the turmoil in his eyes.

Not to offend her...

She tried to swallow the lump from her throat.

“But then you still came here to assess this house,” she prodded.

“I got... used to the idea of loving you, after a while. You always seemed so happy before our lessons. So eager to hear the voice. To talk about your day.” He waved in a fluid gesture of his hand. “To discuss with me something you haven't told anyone else. Sometimes it seemed you were not talking to an incorporeal being but just to...me.”

“I was,” she breathed.

His head hung low between his slouched shoulders, his eyes carefully examining the floor between them as he asked, “How long had you known that the Angel was not real?”

“I have no idea.” She shifted on her feet. “Probably after grief faded enough so that I could think again. A few months after the first time I heard you, I guess.”

He nodded, and took a few faltering steps away and towards the door, then turned around and walked back to her but stopped short of the angle from where the mirror could have captured his reflection. “I've always meant to ask for your hand in marriage, I never wanted to subject you to a life as my mistress and...” His voice tapered off, and he shrugged helplessly, as if at a loss for words. “It never occurred to me that binding you to me in marriage would rob you of your good name just the same. I didn't even have a name to give you.” He took a step towards the mirror and looked into it, but then hastily shrank back from it and something gripped at her heart. “I just wanted to let you know that my intentions were honest,” he added softly.

The lamplight wavered ever so softly but it might as well have been her imagination.

She swallowed. “What was your plan?”

“I don't know.” His voice came out in a wheeze, and he fell silent for a breath of a time. “I think I was waiting for a miracle I didn't believe in.”

“I'm here now,” she said, taking a tentative step towards him.

“Yes.” Raising his head he chanced another look into the mirror and the light of the lantern wavered for a moment in his hand. “And yet the picture is just as unforgiving.” Lowering his head he stepped away so that he wouldn't see his reflection anymore. “I wonder if you would be here should I have never deceived you.”

“You didn't force me in the end. In fact, you repeatedly asked me to leave,” she told him, but his gaze was still riveted to the floor.

“I had lied to you.”

“And given me a reason to live.”

“That still doesn't change the fact that the Angel of Music doesn't exist.”

“Why are you so keen on convincing me that I shouldn't be here? With you?” She asked, and the lamplight swayed for a moment in the dim gray of the bathroom.

“Because you deserve a better...life than this.” The pause in his words lasted only long enough to be noticable, and yet her heart skipped a beat. A better man... “And you could have had that life beside...”

“Beside a man I didn't love?” She interrupted before he could finish.

His reply of a sigh seemed to echo around in the empty room. “You agreed to marry him once,” he offered feebly at last.

“Women agree to marriage for various reasons,” she explained gently, walking up to him and finally closing the distance between the two of them.

His voice was almost too faint to be heard when he next asked, “What was yours?”

“You terrified me and he promised to keep me safe.”

“What you have seen after was even worse,” he said, taking a step to the side; he set the lamp on the vanity on his right as he stepped right in front of the mirror.

Now he didn't turn away as before, in fact, he visibly forced himself to look at his imposing reflection in the mirror: a looming black shadow broken only by the grotesque shape of the white mask.

Her throat tightened.

“I'm not afraid of you anymore,” she told his reflection in the mirror. The whiteness bowed almost imperceptibly.

“That night...” She nodded hastily before more memories could surface. “I have hurt you so deeply... How can you even look at me after that night?”

She looked into the eyes of his reflection in the mirror.“I forgave you.”

His throat moved with a swallow. “I had wanted to marry not just to show off my noble intentions but also because I wanted to make sure you would stay forever.”

“I know.”

“I will not try to stop you if you decide you wish to leave,” he said, the eyes of his reflection intent on hers. She rather saw than heard the soft sound of a guarded exhale, followed by the soft drop of his shoulders as they tensed.

“That is exactly why I'm not going to leave,” she told him, stepping to him and laying a hand on his forearm.

“I know.” His head bowed deeply with the words, and his muscles tensed beneath her touch all of a sudden before he lifted his gaze once more to the mirror. “You stayed... even in the face of reality.” His free hand reached up to his face and a heartbeat later lowered to his side once more, now holding the mask. “You've just corrupted yourself for the sake of a monster.”

He straightened his posture, displaying his bare face in the mirror, but only after a moment his eyes fluttered to the side in an apparent gesture to escape the sight before he forced them to return to his reflection. She had to force herself not to look away, either, even if her throat began to close up and her eyes began to burn.

Why...?

Even though the torment was clearly meant for himself, her stomach twisted at the sight just the same.

His eyes were riveted to the unmerciful display of his deformity in the mirror.

“When...” Her voice broke on that first word and she had to start again. “When I decided to come back, I was perfectly aware of what I was agreeing to. And I would do it again. I would lie to them again.”

“I don't deserve you being here,” he whispered, turning a bit to his left to look at her but his eyes were cast to the ground before the movement was completed.

“I didn't come back because you deserve me.” His hand shook with the shudder that had run through him, and he bowed even deeper. “I'm here because I can never be happy in a future you are not part of. Those four days...” Her voice failed her and she stopped; gathering strength from the continuous flicker of the lamplight on the floor, dancing right in front of her feet. “Those days I heard nothing but silence. And I found no will to live like that for the rest of my days.”

His head lifted, his eyes startlingly dark with emotion. “You missed the music...” He murmured.

“Not just any music. You are the music.”

“Stop it,” he wheezed all of a sudden. “I'm begging you.”

The rapid rising and falling of his chest continued for a long minute; she reached out to take his hand and after several heartbeats, his fingers returned her touch.

“When I let you go...” he began at last, but fell silent immediately.

From outside, the faint clacking of horseshoes and the rattle of wheels seeped into the room as a carriage passed along the street.

He tried again a moment later. “I thought that even after I had hurt you so terribly, I could at least give you a future where you are free of me.” He let out a deep sigh. “It was already too late, wasn't it?”

“There wouldn't have been a day when I didn't think of you. Or of what might have been should I have married you.” She reached out to his other hand that was still holding the mask and pulled him closer to her. “You are no monster.” The hand gripping the mask trembled beneath her touch and she held onto it firmer.

“I've dreamt of this so many times before,” he said, turning to her and away from the mirror, his thumb brushing the air just above her cheek. “But I could never fully believe it.” Slowly his gaze left hers as his head bowed deeply, and after a long silence, he muttered, “I think this is why the mirrors were always covered.”

“Erik, I've seen everything. And I'm still here,” she whispered, her hand still resting on his hand that was holding the mask. A gentle pull was enough to let her take it, and slowly his eyes returned to the mirror where now both of their reflections were staring back at him. She felt tension engulf him as his sight wandered to her hand, her fingers curled around the edge of the mask.

He turned away from the mirror then, but his gaze didn't dare to seek hers longer than for a breath of time; his warm exhale swept over her lips but it was only followed by his lips when she gently pulled on his sleeve.

His first kiss was more of a tremor against her lips and she leaned against him to seek a second one; one of his hands wandered to her waist and pulled her closer until she was close enough to feel his heartbeat against her chest.

Had they turned around and eluded the gendarmes, would he still be alive?

Had she chosen to hide inside the house with him?

Had she not lied?

Her heart skipped a beat at the thought and she reached up to brush her thumb against his face; then shuddered with him when a long shiver ran down his body in return.

Anything.

She would so anything to cover him, even if it meant she had to lie to the authorities again about him. Or rather, about herself; after today she would be most probably considered as an accomplice. He already told her that much – and most probably he had already added this to his long list of crimes.

Except that it was all her doing.

Had he had any idea if this was what she had in mind, when she had asked him to go inside alone, would he have still done what she had asked of him? Or would he have risked being recognized just to save her conscience?

Tears began to tighten her throat and she breathed him in, his now familiar, comforting scent that still seemed foreign because now she didn't need to deny she had already known in for a long time; and she leaned up to capture his lips in yet another kiss.

I'll protect you – even if you don't want to allow me to.

They stayed close in an unmoving embrace even after the kiss had ended, only the weight of his palm on the small of her back became more promiment.

Then his head lifted, and slowly turned to look into the mirror.

The hand on the small of her back faltered.

As he turned back to her, he held her even tighter then before.

“This was the first time you didn't disappear from there,” came his low voice, and tears began to gather in her throat when the meaning of his words began to unfurl in her mind.

Outside, the sun had already set and the lamplight was hardly enough to illuminate their forms, shrouded as they were in dark coats; only their faces were visible in the mirror as he folded her in his arms and was once more staring at their reflection.

Her fingers curled into his lapels.

I'm not going anywhere.

“I wish you saw this the next time look into the mirror,” she told his reflection, and then shivered when a long tremor shook his whole body.

“I love you so much,” he breathed, the green of his eyes unusually bright with emotions, and her throat was suddely too dry as she whispered, “I love you, too.”

– o –

Placing his cup back on the saucer, M. Clément flipped through the Wednesday morning letters, some of which had been written to M. Duranceau. It was not quite extraordinary, but as the baron had less and less affaires to be taken care of in Paris, it was certainly something worthy of attention. Especially so that one of those envelops were addressed with an unknown, overly neat handwriting.

Laying aside all other letters the secretary opened this most peculiar one.

Then frowned.

Who on Earth wants to buy the barons house?

It had been up for sale for more than a year now, and not a single person was interested enough just to inquire about it.

Most interesting.

The customer demanded to meet in person at the building in question this afternoon, and he also offered to pay the full price of the property in cash. What a curious request! Most unusual, and, to be fair, quite suspicious.

Nonetheless, the baron would be surely pleased to hear he managed to get rid of this burdensome property after such a long time.

Decision already made, M. Clément dipped the quill in the ink and began to write:

Cher M. Nilsson,

I would be most delighted to meet you after my regular office hours at 5 pm, ...

#poto #Phantom of the Opera #poto fanfiction #phanfiction #edka88

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restlessmaknae · 4 years ago

Text

of high school & musicals

You have the captain of the Busan High basketball team and the new student of his class, plus one very random karaoke night, and a whole new revolution at school is born.

♦ Pairing: basketball player!Taehyung x new student!Aera (OC)

♦ Supporting characters: BTS, EXO, GOT7, Red Velvet, APink, JYP cameos

♦ Genre: HSM AU (the main idea and some scenes are the same, but there are of course changes, especially with the ending), fluff, comedy

♦ Words: 13k

♦ A/N: I’ve had the idea for this story a couple of years ago, and I know Taehyung now fits the university AUs more, but I hope you enjoy this fun fic of mine. 💖

Kim Taehyung had been never fond of karaokes.

Especially not those typical karaoke nights on the last day of summer before the new school year would start. But if her mom was happy that she could send him off to have some fun – or at least, she thought so –, he was okay with it. Her mother was such a lovely woman and Taehyung loved her with all his heart because his family was his everything, and he himself was generally a very warm-hearted person who wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose, that’s why he showed up at this year’s karaoke night at a local restaurant.

Though the more he stayed there, the less he felt that he should have been there. He didn’t enjoy singing or listening to pop songs, he was more like the trot lover guy. Retro songs were still bops, right? On the other hand, it didn’t seem that the average high schoolers who took up most of the audience were of the same opinion because they didn’t ask for anything, except those typical boring songs that they constantly played on the radio.

The weird thing is that he was only a spectator and didn’t even intend to give karaoke a try but the enthusiastic MC literally dragged him onto the stage. He didn’t even have the chance to protest, it happened in a blink of an eye and there he was; Kim Trot Lover Taehyung with a microphone in his hand and a mysterious – but beautiful – girl by his side. The girl looked just as puzzled as him – if not more – and it didn’t take him long to realise that she must have been another victim of the annoyingly eager presenter’s hunting for volunteers.

“What is going on?” Taehyung managed a sentence out while his bluntness was evident on his face. He couldn’t help but knit his eyebrows together at the awkwardness of the situation; he – who had nothing to do with karaokes and who was the captain of the high school basketball team – was supposed to sing a duet with a girl he had never even seen in his whole life? What the hell was going on?

“I have no idea,” the pretty female mouthed and her rosy lips slowly curved into a coy smile. Taehyung was literally stunned by this fairy-like creature because he was sure that he had never seen anyone like her before. She had long, onyx-black hair and big doe eyes which were filled with childish twinkles that sparkled among the dark clouds on the sky of her orbs. Her cheeks were a bit rosy, so he assumed that she must have been embarrassed. Nevertheless, she looked indeed cute.

“I’m in love by Ra. D presented by our lovely newcomer couple comes up next! Please, give a round of applause for our newbies! Good luck!” The presenter announced abruptly and prompted the spectators to clap more and more until the cheers and conversations finally died down and there was complete silence for a moment.

Taehyung had never been so nervous in his life but right now he was so damn confused that he didn’t even know what to do. The girl was bouncing nervously as she looked around and came in sight with the white screen, presenting the next song’s lyrics. It was somewhat familiar to him but he couldn’t sing it wholeheartedly since the whole situation was incredibly odd for him.

Taehyung only sang under the showerhead and that’s why his mother sometimes complimented him for his good voice but he thought that it was just her mum being her usual proud mommy self, nothing more. So no, no thanks, he was sure that he wasn’t a born singer. He was a basketball player for God’s sake! Basketball players don’t sing. They just don’t.

Yet, standing on the stage with a complete stranger who seemed way more nervous than him, Taehyung didn’t want to let her down, so he decided to be the first one to start singing. To his amazement, it felt more and more natural as time went by.

He was sure that his deep and raspy voice sounded like a growling of a wolf’s but the audience didn’t seem to notice his lack of talent because they cheered more and more wildly. After his first part, it was time for the girl to show her skills and it would be an understatement to say that he was shocked. He was utterly shocked, absolutely out of words when he heard her voice!

It was so sweet and warm like honey and the way she pronounced the words was like a beautiful lullaby hummed by his mother. Her mellifluous voice reminded him of home and something that reminds you of home is definitely a thing that you are fond of. Taehyung fell for it the moment he heard her first words.

When they had to harmonise, he was afraid that it would sound totally rubbish but maybe it was because she was too talented to hide the fact that he was quite unskilled – to say the least -, it didn’t sound as awful as he had expected. On top of that, it felt surprisingly good to be her duet partner and he particularly enjoyed singing with her. He could forget about the fact that he wasn’t a singer while he was with her because she totally captured him. He was so lost in her already, he could only see her heart-shaped face and hear her angel-like voice. It was quite a magical moment, and it was over way too soon.

“Huh, that’s what I call a performance!” The presenter ran onto the stage as the song came to an end and grabbed Taehyung’s microphone, so that he could start his own one-man show. “Our newcomer couple was absolutely amazing! Maybe you’ll thank me one day because I’ve chosen you,” he looked directly at them and muttered the next few words. “Or not,” he shrugged his shoulder and elbowed Taehyung to get his attention and swiftly showed their way off stage.

Taehyung was so lost in his own thoughts that by the time he manoeuvred himself through the cheering crowd, the mysterious girl had already gone. He couldn’t just miss this opportunity, he had to find her!

He couldn’t sit still and wait for her to pass by again, so he went to search for her. He felt like it was the start of something new and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Plus, he didn’t know this girl and it was quite surprising since he was the captain of the Busan Seagulls and thus he knew almost everyone at Busan High.

So who could be this mysterious girl?

On the other hand, Ryu Aera she couldn’t believe her luck that she had met such an attractive guy the first day she had moved to Busan. It was peculiar, wasn’t it? She had never been that kind of girl who would go out partying and the first time she had given in to attend a karaoke night at a family-run restaurant, she had bumped into a cute boy with an amazing voice? Ah, she must have been daydreaming...

Though when their stage with the boy came to an end, something in her guts told her that it would the best if she left and never saw him again. So, she immediately scampered away and started walking back to her new home in an attempt to avoid bumping into Mr. Attractive. The further she got, the more relieved she felt.

Then, out of the blue, she felt a tight grip on her left arm and without giving much thought, she punched the stranger with her bag. The attacker could only let out an aghast whimper.

“Ouch!”

The familiar male voice exclaimed and when Aera came in sight with those beautiful almond-shaped eyes and that damn attractive grin, her hands flew to her mouth in panic.

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” she asked frantically, mentally giving herself a good slap for being such a scaredy-cat and attacking strangers, not even observing who they were.

Of course, that’s what her parents had taught her to do so, yet she felt utterly guilty as she looked at Mr. Attractive who managed to keep his cool and busied himself with brushing off the imaginary dust from his clothes.

“Of course, I’m okay. It’s nothing, I get hit by girls every single day,” he shrugged idly and a weak chuckle made its way past her lips to mask her anxiety.

“I’m really sorry. It was just self-defence.”

“I know, I know,” he raised his arms in defeat. “Girls really shouldn’t walk alone on these dark streets at this hour. I totally get why you slapped the guy whom you thought was a crazy pervert with your fairly heavy bag,” he babbled continuously and his humour was definitely one of a kind.

Aera felt a need to laugh out loud but she was too embarrassed to even say a single word, so she gave him a brief nod and sealed her lips tight. She saw as Mr. Attractive was eyeing her top to bottom and felt her cheeks heating up a bit when their eyes finally met. She noticed the gentle rise of his eyebrows but she couldn’t tell what exactly caught his attention. She was an average girl with that kind of girl-next-door personality and there was nothing remarkable about her appearance either.

The moment she bit her lower lip, his lashes fluttered and there he was again with his smug grin!

“So, Miss Black Belt, I must admit that I haven’t seen you here before. Are you new?” The stranger raised his eyebrows in question and the slight twinkle in his eyes made her heart flutter.

“Yeah, I’m new here. I just got here today.”

“Then, welcome to Busan! I’m sure you’ll have a great time here,” he shot her a huge smile and his hushed, hoarse voice sent shivers down her spine. There was something really captivating about this boy because every single time he opened his mouth to say something, she immediately felt the corner of her lips curving into a smile and her heart thumping, strumming strongly against her ribcage. Or maybe it was just a chain-reaction after their duet together, nothing else. After all, biology was everywhere.

She only nodded to his welcoming words, but she didn’t know what could she say that was appropriate in such a situation. However, the boy was quick to react instead of her.

“Oh, by the way, I’m Kim Taehyung,” he introduced himself kindly as reached his hand out politely and gave her a reassuring press when she replied to his handshake. His touch was as smooth as the cream on her favourite caramel macchiato, even though at first sight his hands seemed a bit rough. Maybe he was doing athletics or something like that because sporty guys usually had such strong yet delicate hands.

“Ryu Aera,” she did the same as she made an attempt to give him a brief but friendly nod.

They kept eyeing each other for a few moments, her getting immersed in his almost-shaped eyes, wondering whether it was possible that the moonlight above their head was really painting lines onto the canvas of his eyes. However, yet again, it was the unfamiliar boy who saved the two of them and the silence from becoming awkward.

“You were absolutely amazing back there! Perhaps, are you a singer?” Taehyung complimented her enthusiastically, and she couldn’t help but snicker hysterically at his assumption. She immediately waved her hands in front of her body, insisting that she wasn’t a very good singer, she was just enjoying doing it.

“Then how could you sing so well?” He looked at her, totally baffled.

Taehyung put her into a predicament as even she didn’t know the explanation to his question. She had never been trained, nor had she attended an arts school but it seemed that she had developed a talent for singing. Or at least, everyone around her had said so but she had always shooed them away. Nonsense, she protested. She was a nerd, trying to balance between her studies and future goals, she had nothing to with singing!

“I could ask you the same,” Aera pointed out though, smoothly changing the topic from her singing to his amazing, husky voice.

“Wait, what? Me? As a singer? No way!” He howled in laughter until he saw a serious expression displaying on her face. Then, he cleared his throat and lifted his chin up. “No, I can’t sing,” he shook his head violently, but Aera could detect a hint of sorrow buried under his reply.

“Yes, you can!”

“No, I can’t!” He countered cockily and his reaction was so fervent that she assumed that Taehyung really believed his own words. Of course, his lack of talent was only a dull, flat lie but who was she to try to convince him to think otherwise?

“Anyway, I really enjoyed our duet. I thought that this karaoke night would be just another bunch of boredom but thanks to you, I had quite a good time,” he accentuated the word ‘you’ and looked like he was trying to pierce into her soul with his intense stare. Well, he made an excellent job as Aera was already under his spell and couldn’t do anything, except blushing and blushing even more.

It wasn’t until some passer-by bumped into her that she finally snapped back to her senses. She realised that they were still in the middle of the street, both stopped dead in their tracks and there were others around them. She inwardly cursed herself for being such a frivolous girl but who could blame her when she had just gotten to Busan and felt like she was finally at ease when she sang that duet with him? Before encountering Taehyung, she had felt so out of place but now, she felt like Busan was already a bit like home. He felt a bit like home.

“I’m sorry, but I must go now. I promised my mum that I would get back on time,” she stumbled upon her words as she came back to her senses, checking the time on her watch. It was already past the time she had discussed with her mother. Oh, she was in so much trouble! Staying out later on her first day in Busan? That’s minimum a week or two of doing the dishes and taking out the rubbish!

Upon hearing her words, Taehyung pouted like a little kid in front a candy shop but transformed back into his goofy self in a swift moment.

“And how about I’ll−”

“Thanks for everything. I hope you’ll have a great night!” Aera cut him off and even though the boy wanted to protest, he had no chance but to watch as her silhouette faded away in the abyss of the cheering crowd, her leaving as quickly as she had come into his life.

The first firework exploded right when she left him and that’s how he was left with only her sweet words that were floating around his ears and the picture of her heart-shaped face, cherry-like rosy lips, glistening charcoal orbs and her unfathomable, brittle and soothing voice. She was like a beautiful dream; she came without warning and didn’t even stay long. Only that lingering feeling that he felt after she had left reminded him that he had ever seen her.

Even though she was attending school for more than half of her life, she was just as nervous now as on the first day of school. Well, it was really her first day at Busan High but it felt unexpectedly odd. Like she wasn’t the part of the machine; everyone was busy chatting with their friends around their lockers and didn’t even care to glance at her when she walked by. She thought that nothing was worse than being noticed but she was dead wrong. It was much worse to be invisible. Students didn’t even want to answer her questions, even though she didn’t ask something like ‘what is the formula of ascorbic acid’ but basic things like ‘where can I find classroom 22’.

There was only one girl who was willing to help.

“I’m going there as well, so I’ll show you the way,” the short yet confident girl flashed her a friendly smile, small wonder why Aera’s shoulders immediately slumped in ease. “I’m Kang Seulgi,” the other girl started the introduction right away but instead of being nosy, Aera assumed that she was just curious. After all, she was a new student and Seulgi looked like someone who knew everybody there, so she introduced herself politely, directing a smile at Seulgi.

“I guess you’re our new classmate,” she prattled gleefully as they were walking towards that specific classroom and bobbed her head whenever someone familiar passed by. She really did seem like someone who knew half of the students here.

“Does everyone know that I’m already here?” Aera sneaked a glance at the other girl, a bit afraid of her answer. Seulgi merely rolled her eyes but her face slowly dissolved into an affectionate smile.

“Well, we live in the 21st century, so yeah, everyone knows. Probably the whole school knows by now.”

“Great!” she bellowed indignantly because she hated being the new student. Whether it meant that people looked down on her or totally ignored her, she hated playing the new nerd’s part. She was lucky that Seulgi didn’t run away when she encountered her, she couldn’t even imagine what could have happened if she hadn’t been there.

“You don’t need to worry as long as you see me. I know everything about the school, the gangs, the gossips, the teachers. My knowledge will definitely come in handy for you,” she offered as she playfully winked at her. Her witty reply perked her up a bit. So far, meeting Seulgi was the best thing that happened to her since she had come to Busan. Or wait… just the second best.

When they finally arrived at classroom 22, Seulgi confidently stormed into the classroom, leaving Aera with no chance but to go with her. She tailed after her like a puppy following its owner and emulated her action when she sat down – probably at her own table. She slid into a seat beside her and busied herself with packing out of her bag.

“Any questions?” Seulgi leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and chin in her hands.

Aera was pondering for a thought because she had so many questions but she had no idea which was sensible and which wasn’t. Instead, she looked down at the paper they had given to her at the administration office and started observing it. When she saw an unfamiliar name written on the paper, she felt a need to ask about who it was.

“Who is Park Jinyoung?”

“You mean THE Park Jinyoung? Mr. Park Jinyoung?” Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows in question and Aera would lie if she said that her statement didn’t confuse her.

“Why? Are there any guys by the name Park Jinyoung, except THE Park Jinyoung?” she inquired as she tried to mimic the other girl’s tone when she was talking about that said Park Jinyoung.

“Yeah, sure. There was also a cute senior named Park Jinyoung who had graduated last year,” Seulgi explained, spacing out for a moment when was asked about the other Park Jinyoung, but she couldn’t exactly say why. Maybe she had a crush on that guy? Who knew? “But Mr. Park Jinyoung is our homeroom teacher and the head of the drama department. Believe me, he takes drama way too seriously, so even if you’re just a little bit interested in musicals, he will immediately give you a role. Or probably two because they are out of members at the moment,” she muttered under her breath and used lively gestures to make her little introduction a bit more interesting.

“Are you in the drama club?”

“Oh dear, no way!” Seulgi shrieked in panic. What kind of question was that? She was literally hurt from even the idea of being a member of the drama club. “I have science club twice a week and I’m the captain of the Scholastic Decathlon Team, so that’s totally enough for me.”

When she mentioned the science club, Aera’s heart started beating faster. It was her chance to get to know others better while focusing on her studies at the same time! And if it was arranged by Seulgi, she was sure that she would have a great time there.

“Can I join the science club, too?” she inquired, maybe a little too enthusiastic but she lowkey loved science. She wanted to be a doctor; to be precise, a pediatrician. She always loved kids and biology, so it was definitely the profession of her dreams. Although it would be a thorny road until she would be able to have her own clinic and cure those little kids, she wanted nothing more than to succeed in fulfilling her dream of becoming a pediatrician.

“Sure. I’d be happy if I finally had a seatmate,” Seulgi clapped her hands enthusiastically and grinned from ear to ear. From that moment on, she was her new best friend and vice versa.

In the next few minutes, Seulgi managed to tell her about almost everything and everyone in the school but there was one particular person Aera had already known.

“You see that guy over there with the messy ‘I woke up like this’ hair and cute little baby cheeks? Now, that’s−“

“Kim Taehyung,” she cut her off when Seulgi was giving a presentation on their classmates, detailed and honest with little comments based on her own opinion and experiences. Nevertheless, she didn’t need help with this particular guy; she already knew this one.

Aera’s heart literally stopped functioning for a moment when she caught sight of the smugly smirking boy who was joking and chatting with a group of other guys in the classroom. He was having fun and laughing out loud whenever someone told him a funny story about their days. She couldn’t believe her eyes, even though everything proved that it was him. His slightly curly, fluffy, chocolate-brown curls, his warm, sparkling, coffee-black orbs, his sharp jawline, his smear lips and his whole ethereal presence. She didn’t need to convince herself, it was definitely Kim Taehyung.

“Ah, so you already know him,” Seulgi said flatly, shrugging her shoulders and moving on with the introductions. “The redhead beside him is his best friend, Park Jimin. He’s like the leader of the nerd teasing squad. Seriously, don’t talk to him! He thinks that he’s funny but he’s actually not,” she continued while Aera let her eyes linger at the masculine boy who was currently dying of uncontrollable laughter. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw them together. Their happiness was definitely contagious.

“You find him attractive, don’t you?” Aera gave her new friend a look when she noticed how Seulgi looked at Jimin. It wasn’t the kind of stare that you display when you see someone you actually hate, it was more like an I’m-looking-at-my-secret-crush-but-I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it look.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Okay, maybe just a little but that doesn’t mean that I like him,” she admitted with an annoyed albeit resigned sigh because she had never good at acting. Maybe she did find him attractive, she just didn’t want to admit it so quickly.

“And... he’s Mr. Park Jinyoung,” Seulgi announced when a tall figure stepped into the room, holding a book in one hand and a collection of costumes in the other. Oh, he was apparently the drama teacher!

Aera should have said that she paid attention to the homeroom teacher but her eyes weren’t fixated on him but on someone else. And that someone else only caught sight of her when she really didn’t want to – during the time when she was secretly attending the new musical’s audition.

Kim Taehyung would swear by his favourite basketball that he didn’t intend to sneak a glance at the new musical’s audition, he merely walked by on his way to the sport lockers. The music prompted him to get closer to its source, but he wouldn’t have thought that he would see a familiar pretty silhouette there.

His jaw literally dropped when he saw Ryu Aera at Busan High, hiding behind a janitorial rolling cart while watching the one and only Jung twins who had been the main attractions of the musicals ever since they had started high school together.

“Peek-a-boo!” Taehyung jumped in front of the poor girl who subconsciously pushed the cart to him, in order to protect herself. The boy could only move out of its way thanks to his quick reflexes and the fact that he was faster than Aera’s hands.

“Oh my gosh, you startled me,” she yelped, placing her hands on her chest in relief. She drew a thick, shaking breath before she could pay more attention to him yet again.

“I can see that.” Taehyung giggled absent-mindedly and averted his eyes to the ongoing performance. The Jung twins were singing a quite catchy and upbeat song and it wasn’t hard to tell that they had a talent for it. Jung Eunji could hit those high notes just as well as a professional singer and Jung Hoseok could complement her well with his sweet tone and funky moves. He preferred dancing over singing but it wasn’t because of his lack of experience but rather because of the fact that the soon-to-be musical star had always been Eunji and not him. He didn’t seem to mind it though.

“What do you think about the so-called Jung twins aka Jung Eunji and Jung Hoseok?” Taehyung pointed to the performing duo, his eyebrows slightly raised in question. Aera was quite taken aback by the sudden question and looked a bit intimidated when she realised how good they were.

“They are really talented.” She gulped to cover up her anxiety but Taehyung could see her through. Although it was the second time they met – or so he thought because he didn’t know that Aera caught sight of him during homeroom class –, he could read her so well as if they had been friends for years. What to do when she was so easy to read? Everything was clearly written on her face.

“More than we were?”

“Of course,” she declared fervently but when she saw that he huffed slightly, she nervously started justifying her statement. “I mean, you are incredibly talented, maybe just as talented as the guy on stage but I’m sure that I’m not as good as her,” she objected violently because Eunji’s high notes definitely sent shivers down her spine. Oh, how she wished she could sing like her!

“Oh, come on! We both know that I can’t sing!” Taehyung confronted wearily but Aera had no idea why he said that.

Seulgi mentioned something about a Christmas play where the Jung twins had been the main characters while others – such as Jimin and Taehyung – played minor roles and stated that the basketball player boys had been awful but she didn’t mention anything about the singing part. Maybe she should ask her someday.

“But you have such a beautiful voice!” Taehyung said in awe and made immediate eye-contact with her. His stare was dangerous; intense like lighting during a terrifying thunderstorm and searing like a first kiss after yearning after one another for a long time. Her knees immediately gave in and she also felt her cheeks turning scarlet-red. “Why don’t you try auditioning for the musical? I’m sure they would get you in.”

“No, it’s really not my cup of tea.” She shook her head with a bitter smile because although she would love to try, she knew that she couldn’t compete against the Jung twins. She wasn’t a singer after all, she was merely fond of humming songs when she was fed up with studying and wanted to have some rest. The older she got, the more she was keen on singing.

“Then why are you here?” the boy asked bluntly and she already opened her mouth to say something when she realised that she didn’t have an appropriate reason for watching the Jung twins’ audition. Instead, she decided to play cockily.

“I could ask you the same.”

“You always say this when you don’t want to answer my question,” Taehyung murmured with a lopsided grin. Aera let out a wholehearted chuckle.

“I was trying to find the women’s room but ended up finding the janitor’s closet, so I was on my way back to the corridor when I heard someone singing a song and curiosity dragged me here,” she shared her miserable story which sounded even more embarrassing when she said it out loud. New students always get lost at least once, right? “How about you?”

“I was going to basketball practice and the lockers are in this direction, so I had to pass by. And when I saw you, I wanted to make sure that you are Aera and it’s not just my imagination that deceived me,” he cutely scratched the back of his neck while his sweet words undeniably carried an enigmatic air that chilled Aera to the bones. How could Kim Taehyung be so eternally adorable while only talking about how he had ended up watching the audition with her? She didn’t know but she was sure that this guy was one of a kind.

“I’m−”

“Is there anyone who would like to give a performance?” Mr. Park Jinyoung exclaimed from the theatre room while they were still behind its entrance, so he couldn’t see how the two youngsters jumped in surprise when he raised his voice. “No, well, if not, then let’s call it a day! I’ll make sure that the parties involved are informed about the cast of the new show.”

Taehyung made an attempt to push Aera forward but she was too adamant to even take a step closer, so the drama teacher turned off the lights and left the room. Luckily, the boy came back to his senses before they could encounter Mr. Park Jinyoung and dragged her into the janitor’s closet when he noticed that the teacher was coming their way. He quickly closed the door and they soon fell into an awkward silence.

“Are you afraid of Mr. Park?” Aera whispered sheepishly.

“No. I just don’t want him to know that we were here, so that he wouldn’t start gossiping.”

“Oh, I see.” She giggled a bit upon hearing his words because she didn’t think there was anything that their homeroom teacher could gossip about.

Yet, she felt a blush staining her cheeks pink when Taehyung’s arms accidentally brushed hers. The closet wasn’t even enough for one person to move comfortably, no wonder why they had to stand so close to each other. The fact that she heard his heartbeat made her alarmed because this way, Taehyung could also hear hers which was erratic as hell.

“Has he left?”

“Yeah, I guess.” The boy cleared his throat after looking out of the closet’s window for a bit and Aera swore that she saw a grin forming on his lips. But who knew, it was too dark to see anything properly.

“It’s clear now. We can go out,” he announced confidently as soon as he opened the door to let her out. He pouted a little when they got out of the closet and Aera didn’t exactly know why. He mustn’t have felt as anxious as her. Or at least, that’s what she thought so.

“I can’t believe that it’s my first day here and I’ve already been to the janitor’s closet.” She let out a childish chortle as she was brushing the dust from her clothes.

“To be honest, it’s my first time, too,” Taehyung donned a joyful grin and the two of them soon broke into little fists of laughter. He found solace in the melody of her laugh; it sounded like a heart-warming lullaby that parents sing to their kids in order to make sure that they sleep well. It was so reassuring that he felt like the weight was lifted off of his chest.

Suddenly, someone bumped into Taehyung and ruined their perfect bonding moment. He might have been more furious if he hadn’t known that it was Jeon Jungkook and Jeon Jungkook was so innocent that he couldn’t even kill a bug. Jungkook was his classmate – and now Aera’s, too – and he was also the composer and songwriter of Mr. Park’s musicals. He was a prodigy, they said, but due to their different interests, Taehyung had never actually had a conversation with him. Well, things are bound to change.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he apologised restlessly and even bowed three times before he started gathering his music sheets which he had accidentally dropped when he bumped into him. Aera and Taehyung both crouched down to help him, so it didn’t take him long to scoop himself – and his stuff – up.

“Is this the song we’ve heard before?” Aera asked adoringly, observing a sheet in her hands. She looked up from it to meet Jungkook’s eyes and Taehyung couldn’t help but feel like an outcast seeing their cosy scene. He didn’t want to say that he was jealous but… hell yeah, he was jealous!

The boy nodded feebly and looked like he desperately wanted to evaporate right then and there.

“It’s such a beautiful song.”

“The message is nice, too.”

“T-thanks,” he stammered after both of them completed his song which was undeniably lovely but the twins’ version was a bit too upbeat for his liking. He knew that he was just the songwriter but he didn’t exactly imagine his song to be performed the way Hoseok and Eunji had done so. However, he couldn’t do anything if Mr. Park liked it.

“Aera wanted to audition but she was too shy to say so,” Taehyung blurted out impudently and poor girl almost had a heart attack when she heard his words.

“Would you like to give it a try now?” Jungkook suggested, pointing at the piano on the stage. “I know you can’t get the part, but I’m curious how you would sing it,” he cutely tilted his head forward. The boy’s offer seriously flabbergasted her but she nodded without hesitation.

A few moments later, there they were again; on stage, together with Taehyung, singing a beautiful love song. She was blushing deeply while her heart was pounding a little too loud. Once again, she felt that kind of homey feeling when they were singing together. She couldn’t even suppress those smiles that were creeping onto her face while Taehyung’s smiles were so sickeningly sweet that she just wanted to sweep him into a bear hug. She felt lucky to be by his side and get lost in his beautiful, deep voice.

“Wow, that was amazing!” Jungkook whispered in awe after he had stopped playing the piano and gave them a thumbs-up. Aera bit her lower lip in embarrassment while Taehyung gave another one of his trademark grins. Such different ways to receive compliments. “I didn’t know that you two could sing so well,” he admitted with a timid half-smile but he wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

There was a man listening to their duet from the theatre’s entrance who jotted their names down on his list with a mischievous smile forming on his lips.

So many things happened to Aera on her first day of school. She had met Seulgi, gotten a quite detailed description of the school and her classmates, secretly watched the winter musical’s audition and even bumped into Taehyung whom she had sang another duet with. What a day!

It wasn’t even over because after a nice little chat with Jungkook, Taehyung offered that he would walk her to the bus stop. He stated that it was only because she was new and he wanted to make sure that she hops on the right bus. Still, Aera felt nervous little butterflies in her stomach the moment they started walking on the streets and she became more and more thrilled as time went by. She wasn’t usually like this but there was something about Taehyung that made her feel like a stupid school girl chasing after her long-time crush.

“I was so surprised when I saw you at school today. I didn’t know that you would be our new classmate,” Taehyung broke the silence before it would get even more nerve-wrecking and awkward. Her lips curved into a proud smile upon hearing his words.

“Well, my mom got transferred to Busan due to her job, so we moved here,” she explained with a nod. “And I also didn’t know that you attend the same school as I do.”

“To be precise, you attend the same school as I do because I was here first,” he corrected her, childishly sticking a tongue out at her. She gently nudged his shoulder in response.

The sudden skinship left her with a lingering feeling and she had to admit that she wanted more. It was so pleasant being around Taehyung because he was so easy-going that Aera couldn’t even believe that it was their second encounter. She already felt like they had known each other for a long time. Still, she was perfectly aware of the fact that there was so much more to Kim Taehyung and there was so much more that she didn’t share with him.

“And I also didn’t know that you’re the captain of the basketball team. How long have you been playing basketball?” she inquired, finally falling into step with him who had fun walking faster in order to annoy her. He was such a buffoon.

“I don’t even know,” he pondered for a thought while his eyes were staring far ahead. “It feels like I’ve been doing it since I was born. I remember the first time when I’ve gotten a basketball and I was approximately 5 around that time. I just fell in love with the tension, the energy and the speed. I never got bored of it because it helped me to relieve stress as I got older,” he admitted, his voice trailing off at the end.

Aera had never seen him like this before; not being that goofy guy who wanted nothing more than to play with her and take advantage of her petite figure. He was severe this time, his caramel-brown eyes hinting at his seriousness.

“Would you like to be a professional basketball player one day?”

“Why? Am I not a professional basketball player?” He mimicked her curious tone on purpose and received another amused eye-roll from Aera. “Yeah, I’d love to. But it depends on how well I perform next year. The scholarship is based on our scores during senior year.”

“I’m curious how you play,” she remarked as she smiled cryptically, eyes twinkling with mirth. It was so fun to imagine him playing at the basketball field in usual sportswear, not just his casual baggy clothes and worn Converse shoes. “I can’t imagine you running up and down, chasing a ball and using tricky tactics to deceive your opponent.”

“I can reassure you that I look totally awesome while chasing a ball and using tricky tactics to deceive my opponent,” he quoted her exact words with a cheeky smirk that made her cheeks burn up a bit. Taehyung surely knew how to behave around a lady and Aera could have said that she actually mind it. Yet, she didn’t.

“I don’t care about looks. The thing is that you have to enjoy it,” she pointed it out but Taehyung was up for another round of endless teasing. He suddenly came to a halt and his hands flew up to his mouth as if he had been totally shocked.

“So you say that I’m not attractive?” He huffed with his mouth agape. She waved her hands dismissively.

“No, I didn’t say anything like that.”

“So you say I am?”

“I didn’t say that either,” she pointed out playfully and shook her head in disbelief. Taehyung was really something; she hadn’t laughed this much for a long time. Plus, instead of playing the new student’s role, she finally felt like she was worth more than just the fact that she had moved to Busan a few days ago. All thanks to Taehyung.

They soon fell into a comfortable silence as their laughs died away and they slowly approached the bus stop. The timetable said that her bus would come in 5 minutes, so the boy decided to keep her company until he made sure that she got home safely.

“Now, how about you? What do you want to do in the future?” Taehyung asked, taking a step closer to her due to the amount of passengers waiting for the bus. His close presence made her slightly cringe but it wasn’t that kind of terrifying cringe that you feel when you’re watching a horror movie. No, it was more like watching a little snowflake dancing in the winter storm, beautifully spinning round and round.

“I would like to be a pediatrician,” Aera declared confidently. She assumed that Taehyung’s eyes would widen in surprise because people don’t usually think that she would like to be a doctor. Nevertheless, he didn’t make any stupid preconceptions and she was so thankful for that.

“Ah, pediatricians are cute!”

“What? You have a thing for pediatricians?” She didn’t bother hiding her amusement because she thought that it was cute that Taehyung believed that pediatricians were cute.

“I just say that it’s nice how they can take care of children and be patient with them. I really appreciate them since my mom is also one of them,” he blurted out and gave her a sheepish smile. He wasn’t ashamed of his mum’s profession because he was already thankful for the fact that he had such a lovely family. Whenever he thought about his mom, he felt a pleasant kind of warmth in his chest. Aera could also sense his affection and squealed a little inside when she saw how lovingly Taehyung talked about his mom. It was always nice to see such filial sons.

“Oh really? How lovely!” Aera exclaimed enthusiastically. “You couldn’t have had a hard time visiting doctors when you were young.”

“I was my mom’s favourite patient,” he grinned wickedly and the girl felt the need to smack him in the chest to distract him from her blushing face. He was just too adorable to be real.

Luckily or not, Aera’s bus arrived, so they had to bid their goodbyes. For the first time that day, she didn’t know what to say nor do because they had only met for the second time and it wasn’t that they were friends either. She couldn’t tell what they meant for each other but she was sure that it was still early for a hug or something, thus she decided to wave in his direction and left with a casual See you tomorrow.

Taehyung immediately felt a pang in his chest when her bus disappeared around the corner. He didn’t find the right words to say when it was time to say goodbye but he wanted to share so much more with her. For example, he wanted to thank her for being so understanding and not judging him for his looks or his interests. He wanted to thank her for making him laugh and smile and for singing with her. He was suffocating from prejudice and she was his reason to breathe again. She was his oxygen and he didn’t want to stay away from her.

Not today, not anymore.

Being the captain of the Busan Seagulls meant that he had to be the most responsible and approachable person in the team. However, Kim Taehyung was everything but responsible.

He was a carefree, youthful kid, trying to make the most of his high school years and spending as much time with his friends as possible. His best friend – Park Jimin – was always up for a fun little basketball match with just the two of them, sharing secrets and hilarious stories with one another because that’s how they bonded together; during sports, with only a few words exchanged, avoiding getting too emotional. Because guys are manly, not mushy!

As the leader of the basketball team, he had several duties. One of them was to welcome the new members such the super tall guy – Park Chanyeol – who was more enthusiastic chasing the ball than actually using it to score a goal.

“Are you sure that you want to have him in the team?” Jimin raised an eyebrow in question, slightly judging the younger yet much taller guy. It was still a mystery how Jimin could be such an excellent player with his height but he said that it was because he was faster than he actually seemed. Well, Taehyung couldn’t argue with that.

“Well, newbies are always welcome.” Taehyung shrugged. “Plus, we need an extra member because someone has to be the rocket man, right?” he nudged his friend’s shoulder while they exchanged knowing looks. It was their little joke to call those guys the rocket guys who were mostly just warming up on the bench and not participating in the game itself.

They were standing beside the court, watching the newbies practicing and warming up in order to show their skills. Taehyung could rest a little until their coach was coordinating the members and writing down the new members’ names.

That’s when the cream of the crop – also known as Min Yoongi, the living legend of the Busan Seagulls – rushed into the gym, literally fuming. He was undeniably the best player in the team, his reflexes were quick and he was quite tricky when it came to deceiving his opponents. His moves were so graceful yet so precise, he was a born basketball player whose name was known by all who was familiar with this sport. However, the thought had never crossed his mind that he would like to be the captain of team because he didn’t want to take on any responsibilities. He claimed that he enjoyed playing but he wasn’t good at motivating and coordinating a team.

“Hi, Yoongi!” Jimin welcomed him with a huge smile. “What’s with that face of yours?” he inquired, looking at the frowning guy who wrinkled his nose in annoyance.

“Mr. Park stopped me on the way to ask about the winter musical. God knows why he thinks that I would do the part of the angel.”

“The what?” Taehyung snickered half-heartedly. He had no idea that Mr. Park was planning to involve such characters. If he had known, he would have never made an effort to sing that song two days ago, on the day of the audition. The song was incredibly good as it was Jeon Jungkook’s work but he could have known that Mr. Park’s ideas were far more eccentric than he could have ever guessed.

“The angel,” he repeated as he clenched his teeth and it almost sounded like he had spat some nasty words in spite of the fact that he was only talking about angels. “He wants to get somebody to dress up as an angel and stand beside the main couple to show that they are indeed a match made in heaven.” He rolled his eyes impatiently and a huff of air left his nose in disbelief.

Giving them a final glare, Yoongi swiftly excused himself and headed to the lockers. As soon as he left, Jimin couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, he guffawed so hard that he almost had to shed a tear.

“Can you just imagine Yoongi as an angel? With the halo and wings and totally white clothes? Oh my gosh, I just can’t!” He clutched his chest in an attempt to control his laughter but he couldn’t do it; he got the giggles.

“Why would Mr. Park need an angel in the musical?” Taehyung pondered for a thought, ignoring his friend’s enthusiastic reaction. As the weird man he was, he could still come up with pretty enjoyable musicals but to have an angel in the musical? The older he got, the more interesting cast he wanted, it seemed so.

“I don’t know, man,” his best friend remarked and literally wiped a tear away with his thumbs. “Why did he need trees in the Christmas play when we were there?” he wondered, finally getting his grip together.

“I have no idea,” Taehyung mused, shaking his head as it was still a question to him. He knew that the school hadn’t had enough money for equipment back then, so that’s why they had had to dress up as trees, candles and stars for the Christmas play. “Do you know anything about the winter musical?”

The words rolled off his tongue unknowingly, causing the other boy to stare at him in confusion.

“Do I look like someone who’s interested in musicals?” he paused for a moment to emphasise the fact that he wasn’t in the least interested in the drama teacher’s next attempts. “Oh please, since we broke our arms, I don’t even want to hear the word ‘musical’. So no, I don’t know anything apart from what Yoongi had said. Why do you ask?”

“I was just curious,” Taehyung muttered under his breath. Although he had sang that song with Aera, he didn’t know anything about the musical, nor its cast or concept. Not like he would watch it or any stupid thing like that, he was merely a nosy person.

There was an awkward silence which he really wanted to break but his tongue was completely tied. He knew what his best friend was thinking concerning musicals and he didn’t believe that it would be a sensible idea to broach up the topic again. Jimin wasn’t the type who would make stupid preconceptions but after that iconic Christmas play, he wouldn’t like to get involved in that drama nonsense again.

To his amazement, his best friend was the first to fill in the silence.

“To be honest, it’s always about the Jung twins, so even if I wanted to watch it, I don’t think it would make me satisfied. They are good, that’s for sure, but obviously they can’t play lovers and Mr. Park writes nothing but romantic stories.”

“So, would you be interested if somebody else got the role and not the Jung twins?” Taehyung inquired suddenly and he was so proud that he asked about his side of the story because Jimin nodded in agreement.

“I would give it a try.”

Taehyung was taken aback by his confident answer since there wasn’t a hint of mockery, nor amusement in his voice. He was serious this time and it motioned him to test the waters.

“Actually, I−”

“Guys, get ready!” The coach’s exclamation cut him off and the ongoing conversations soon died down. “We start with six laps around the school,” he stated rather flatly.

Soon, the gym was filled with childish yammering and everyone started whining at the same time. The two friends weren’t the only ones who had no intention of jogging outside in January, right after the refreshing winter break.

“Ah, come on!” Jimin flung his arms in the air. “Outside? Again?”

“Coach wouldn’t seem to get bored of it...” Tae rolled his eyes and looked at his best friend as if they had been the most miserable duo on Earth.

Whatever the case might be, one thing gave hope for Taehyung. Maybe, just maybe, if he survived the six laps, he could encounter Aera and talk with her again. That was what gave him strength for the rest of the football practice.

The first science club meeting was anything but boring.

Seulgi confidently took the lead as she was the captain of the Scholastic Decathlon Team and everyone else followed her instructions well. The always talkative and joyful girl suddenly became a strict yet diligent teacher and the other students were her enthusiastic little pupils.

To tell the truth, Aera was shivering the whole time like a leaf falling from the branches because she was so thrilled to be there. She finally felt like she was a part of something – a part of a community. Not to mention that their community couldn’t have been better. There she was with Miss Science Goddess – Kang Seulgi –; a quiet yet gentle senior – Kim Joonmyun –; a bubbly chatterbox – Park Sooyoung –; the bookworm – Jeon Wonwoo –; a guy who nobody knew why was there – Yook Sungjae – and last but not least, Kim Namjoon whose IQ was 148, higher than anyone’s in the room and the majority of people in the whole world.

They all welcomed her affectionately but Namjoon was the one who even decided to keep her company while Seulgi was tutoring Sungjae. At first glance, he seemed quite intimidating and Aera had no idea how to approach him without embarrassing herself or receiving disgusted flinches. Nevertheless, Namjoon casually took the seat beside her and started a conversation with the slightly nervous girl.

“Hi! I’m Kim Namjoon.” He hopped down, a gummy smile casted on his face. “Sorry for just storming into here but that is actually my seat,” he mentioned as he pointed to where Aera was sitting. When she started clearing his things away, he fiercely protested.

“No, no, you don’t have to go! That’s not what I meant. You can stay!” He raised his arms in defeat. She hesitantly sank into her seat again, her fingers toying with the woollen of her favourite sweater. Gosh, she was such a sheepish little school girl when it came to meeting strangers! “You looked so surprised when I showed up, I thought it would be better if I explained why I sat beside you.”

“Oh, alright,” she hummed to herself and inwardly cursed herself for being awkward 75% of the time. She wasn’t awkward around Taehyung, though, so it couldn’t have been because of boys. She was merely shy until she felt comfortable around people. “I’m Ryu Aera,” she introduced herself and made an attempt to flash a friendly smile at the boy who immediately smiled back at her.

He seemed really friendly, proceeding to ask about her impressions about the school so far, and trying his best to make her comfortable. No wonder with Namjoon by her side, it wasn’t as difficult to talk as she had first thought that it would. He was an excellent companion and also a prominently intelligent guy. They solved plenty of tasks together, laughing and telling stories in between the practice tests and the more time they spent together, the more she got to know about him and the whole school. Seulgi was busy assisting others with their tasks, so when Namjoon broached up the winter musical subject, Aera couldn’t let her chance slip.

“Seulgi mentioned something about a Christmas play where all of you were involved. Was it also a musical directed by Mr. Park?” she inquired, cautious of asking about the basketball duo for the time being.

“Not really.” He shook his head with a low hum, playing with his pen absentmindedly. “It was a present for our teachers for Christmas but turned out to be a total catastrophe in the end, that’s why Mr. Park holds auditions nowadays. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself with putting on a show with people like me or the basketball team.”

“Why? Were the students that bad?” She knitted her eyebrows together in question because although she didn’t know about Namjoon’s acting skills, he assumed that if he tried his best, he could make the most out of everything. He seemed like that kind of diligent student.

“I didn’t do anything extraordinary. To be precise, I was a tree and so were Taehyung and Jimin but they also had to sing. Dancing and singing at the same time with their tree costumes on… well, it wasn’t an easy thing to do,” he paused for a moment, letting the story settle in her mind. Aera couldn’t help but giggle, imagining Taehyung and his friend in – probably junior high school student-styled – tree costumes, singing and goofing around the stage. They must have been a pretty spectacular sight. “They fell off stage and ended up breaking their arms,” he finished the story with a sympathetic smile on his face, leaving her with no choice but to be appalled.

“Oh my gosh, how horrible!” Aera croaked in horror. She obviously didn’t see such an unexpected ending coming.

“Well, it was horrible for them and after everyone got to know about their accident, they were the source of entertainment for the next few weeks.”

“It must have been hard for them,” she flinched disgustedly. She hated nothing more than people who believed that making fun of others was supposed to be their priority, and seemingly Namjoon was of the same opinion, so she decided to broach up a more pleasant topic without mentioning the Christmas play again.

However, now she had a better understanding of what had happened in the past, so when they bumped into Taehyung and Jimin while they were walking back to their homeroom after the science club meeting, she directed a bittersweet smile at Taehyung despite the fact that he probably didn’t know why she was displaying such a smile.

“Hey, guys! Hey, Aera!” Taehyung bounced in high spirits when they literally ran into each other and looked down at the blushing girl. His cocky smile was motioning her to give him a good slap for grinning so proudly but he was lucky because she loved that smile of his too much. And his boyish features, of course.

“Hi everyone! Hi, Aera!” Jimin came to a halt beside him and eyed the little group one by one. Then, he suddenly narrowed his eyes and looked at his best friend, totally baffled. “Aera?! Wait, what? Who’s Aera?” he stammered, shaking his head like he was awakening from a dream. His eyes almost popped out of his skull.

“Jimin, let me introduce you to Ryu Aera, our new classmate,” Taehyung explained and pointed to the girl who bobbed her head in a friendly manner. “Aera, he’s my best friend, Park Jimin,” he added, casually slinging his arm around his mate’s shoulder who finally puzzled up the words he had said.

“Oh, hi! Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” she smiled brightly, trying to leave a good impression on him. After all, he wasn’t just a guy, he was Taehyung’s friend. His best friend, to be precise.

There was an awkward silence after the spontaneous introduction, leaving everyone a bit embarrassed. Several seconds passed by with Taehyung and Aera gazing at each other, secretly exchanging messages without others knowing. It was odd how they had met with each other’s friends only now, but they weren’t late in any aspect.

They weren’t the only ones who met each other’s eyes though.

“Oh, Seulgi, you’re here, too,” Jimin pointed out the obvious and feigned a chuckle when she caught sight of the girl. Seulgi merely rolled her eyes in response, the same kind of denial coming back that she had displayed when she had been talking about Jimin to Aera.

“Jimin…” She let out an agitated sigh and stared back at the basketball player. She glared at him as if he had been the Devil himself while Jimin was donning his trademark eye-smile, much to her annoyance. He knew very well that she hated it, she hated him being like that, she hated that smirk on his face. Yet, he still did it because he enjoyed teasing her. Small wonder why they were tempted to bite off each other’s heads whenever they happened to be in the same room.

“Then, you must have joined the science club, right?” Jimin looked at Aera sideways, ignoring Seulgi on purpose. If anything, that seemed to annoy the other girl even more.

“Yes, I did,” she responded giddily, yet when he asked about it and she mentioned solving tasks with Namjoon, Taehyung sucked in a deep breath beside his best friend. Jimin immediately sensed the tension in the air and elbowed the other guy to get his attention. When he turned his head to look at him, Jimin had to get his grip together as his best friend’s stare was way too deadly. Oh boy, there was love in the air!

“That’s great! I’m happy to hear that,” Jimin laughed it off but it was only an act out of anxiety. His intention was way too obvious. “But we really need to go know. It was nice meeting you, though. I hope we’ll get to talk some more,” Jimin gave them a thumbs-up and shoved Taehyung to get as far from the duo as possible.

He didn’t want his best friend to seem like the jealous type, but he definitely was, because once he took interest in someone, he became very clingy and he wouldn’t let go easily. He might have been a calm and well-composed person in general but when it came to the matters of the heart, he could fight until the very end, and Jimin wanted him to seem like a good guy who wouldn’t start asking nosy questions or suspecting that Aera and Namjoon were already dating, so he needed to save Taehyung from embarrassing himself. As his best friend, it was his duty.

Thankfully, as days went by, Taehyung seemed more relaxed and reassured around the girl, and even though it meant that he was spending a bit more time with someone other than Jimin, Jimin didn’t mind because he was trying to occupy Seulgi on the other hand who still didn’t appreciate his behaviour and his frequent smirks, but he wouldn’t stop for god’s sake because it was so fun teasing her.

That’s how the four of them actually started becoming closer, so when the day came that literally shook the whole class, the four of them were actually walking side by side from their homeroom class to science class when a random classmate of them ran up to the little group, congratulating Taehyung on getting a role for the winter musical.

“Wait, what? Dude, when did you even audition?” Jimin exclaimed frantically, not believing his eyes until they got to the huge notice board in the hall near the entrance where announcements were posted including the casts for the musicals.

Taehyung exchanged a glance with Aera who was just as baffled as he was to see both of their names on the piece of paper, getting the roles that would allow them to sing the song they had previously sang for Jungkook and the empty theatre hall. Or so they had assumed that it had been empty, but they highly doubted that it had been Jungkook who had convinced Mr. Park to let them have the roles.

“I don’t know how it happened. We just sang Jungkook’s song with Aera, and I guess Mr. Park heard it and thought that we would want to be in the musical?” Taehyung concluded with a questioning tone, quite unsure of it himself.

He had never been part of an actual big musical like this because the Christmas play had been rehearsed during homeroom classes with his classmates but this… the notice board said that the practices would be from 5pm to 6pm every Tuesday and Thursday and there were only 15 people accepted as cast members, so it was definitely a bigger thing than the Christmas play.

Needless to say, the news got to the Jung twins fast enough, and the four of them managed to be at the notice board when they arrived, Eunji making a fuss right immediately.

“That was supposed to be my role, and now someone who isn’t familiar with the world of theatre dares to snatch that role from me, letting me have only a minor stage!” Eunji exclaimed frantically, fuming from the inside. She didn’t seem to care that Aera was beside her even though she dared to speak up in the next moment.

“Look, I didn’t want to snatch that role from you. It wasn’t so that you would have a minor role,” she tried to clarify herself, but the other girl wasn’t having any of her explanation. She turned to her, evident fury painting her cheeks burgundy red, her eyes darting diggers in her direction.

“I’ve never had a minor role in my whole life! My first ever role was also as Alice in Alice in Wonderland, so I hope you’re proud of yourself for making me have anything less than the lead role!” Eunji practically spitted the words by this time, and just as quickly as she had appeared, she left the scene, her furious aura lingering around her.

Hoseok let out a forced chuckle as a witness to the outburst of his sister’s, and turned to face the little group that accumulated around the notice board.

“Hey! Don’t take it to heart! The only thing my sister is good at is singing, so whenever someone is just slightly better than her or has a bigger role than her, she feels threatened. But it’s just how she is, it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it. Mr. Park probably chose you two for a good enough reason,” Hoseok explained patiently, his radiant smile in totally contrast to his sister’s sneer and disgusted frown.

Now what Taehyung had said about Hoseok and Eunji started to make sense; the way Eunji had always been the brighter star out of the two of them and how she had also made it seem so, and how Hoseok had been okay with all of this. Probably he had already gotten used to her frantic responses, so he knew how to handle such situations.

“I really didn’t mean to hurt her,” Aera emphasised with a bittersweet smile, feeling Taehyung’s light pat on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I know, and don’t even feel bad! I’m sure you would do great though. I’m rooting for you two!” Hoseok cheered them on, balling his hands into little fists that he threw into the air as if he was rooting for someone at a competition.

“Thanks, man,” Taehyung said gratefully and did some kind of a handshake with the boy as if they had been best friends forever. Maybe it was just a boy thing, but anyway, Aera watched their scene with fondness and she also thanked the other guy for his support before he could disappear after his sister.

Then came the questions from their friends as they proceeded walking to science class. How long had they been singing? What song they had sang to pass the audition? Were they really all in for the musical? Truth to be told, their responses were overwhelming at first, but they realized that it was still better than if they had been judgemental. It was quite the opposite though; they were supportive, just a tiny bit surprised. They had no idea how it had all happened, but they promised to help them manage their after school activities if they really wanted to be in the musical.

Taehyung exchanged a glance with Aera, elevated eyebrows asking for confirmation. She hesitated only for a moment before giving in and nodding. The boy gifted her with the widest boxy smile possible, continuing to smile to himself during the science class even though he personally hated science. But looking at the ever so diligent and enthusiastic Aera jotting down notes and the fact that they were actually going to be in a musical together as the main leads were enough for him to keep smiling.

The practices went surprisingly well even though neither of them had been prepared for what the senior year stress meant with their own after school activities - basketball practice for Taehyung and science club for Aera - and then the school musical on top of that. They soon realized that it would be a bit too much anyway, so they gave this musical one shot and decided that it would be this one for the winter musical, but they would definitely not apply for the spring musical, so that Eunji could have her last big moment before probably being accepted at an arts university or something like that.

Being supported by their friends, the other cast members apart from Eunji who still couldn’t believe that she hadn’t gotten the lead role this time, and also being praised by Mr. Park himself helped immensely to make them feel confident and comfortable on stage despite the fact that they still didn’t believe that they had such good voices. The choreographies weren’t that difficult either, so they could memorize them easily and have fun with the execution.

Though with someone like Taehyung as her duet partner, nothing could be boring. He had a goofy, almost childish personality, and he had just the right combination of mischievousness and seriousness when it came to the actual practices. His relaxed mindset and positive attitude towards making mistakes helped Aera’s anxiety melt away, and time went by quickly with him by her side. She didn’t even remember if she had ever met anyone as fun as Taehyung had been, and his laughter and joy were definitely contagious. She often found herself sillily smiling to herself randomly while she was reading a text or when she remembered something the boy had told her.

Seulgi caught on her behaviour quickly and couldn’t stop teasing her ever since, but needless to say, Aera wasn’t blind either, she could see the sparks between Jimin and Seulgi who had definitely grown closer when they were accompanying their friends to practices or when all four of them had lunch at the cafeteria together. It was just that Seulgi didn’t want to admit that Jimin might not have been the shallow-minded basketball player she had thought him out to be, and she hated admitting if she was wrong.

No wonder even Jungkook realized that the Taehyung and Aera were having feelings for each other, but he didn’t dare to ask about it, just smiled knowingly to himself whenever he was playing the piano and they were singing beside him.

Everything seemed to go smoothly, and by the time the day of the winter musical came, they had been fully prepared and fully supported, just a bit nervous. It was odd to see Taehyung in such a nervous state as well since she had never seen him like that before, and she couldn’t help the comment from slipping through her mouth.

“You’re cute when you’re nervous,” she remarked as they were warming up in the backstage, and Taehyung fixed his shirt for the fifth time already, looking for anything to dust off even though it was as clear as a shirt could be.

“You think so?” He raised an amused eyebrow in question, and no matter the fact that she was sure that she was blushing, she was glad to see that tension of his dissolving a bit due to her comment.

“I would never lie about something like that,” she admitted as she brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She was nervous in her own way, but it was mostly just nerve-wracking imagines going through her head and not her body reacting to the present situation. “Besides, I just want us to have fun just like we did at the karaoke party,” she added with a nostalgic smile, finding the same kind of memories in Taehyung’s eyes than she was currently replaying in her own head. “No matter what, I want us to feel like we did then. To enjoy it as much,” she wished oh so hopefully, eyes twinkling with happy little stars.

Taehyung looked back at the girl, lips curling upwards ever so gradually and beautifully. There was something very charming about the way his full and mellow lips were slowly raised into a smile; that kind of excitement, the anticipation, the hopefulness. Because what was going on inside was written outside on his face, and she was ever so thankful that she could read him so well.

“I wish for the same,” the boy agreed giddily, and before she could realize what he was doing, he stepped closer and put his arms around her body, embracing her petite figure and the magical moment of them going onto the stage a few moments later. They shared the same sentiment, the same hopes and the same mind-set regarding the musical, so they knew that this could only go well.

It indeed went well. Even though it was very much difficult to forget about the theatre hall being filled up with the audience because everyone had gotten to know that the captain of the Busan Seagulls would play the main role of this season’s winter musical, eventually, they both imagined that they were the only two people standing on stage and singing to each other - just like how it had felt at the karaoke night.

The melodies were floating in the sky, embracing them with warmth and the awakening of a feeling that they had tried to suppress, but now it came back with full force, injected into their bodies in the highest dose possible, making them shiver out of pleasure. It was a thrilling, unfamiliar yet pleasant feeling, beautiful like the sunset on the summer sky above the green meadows and the miracle of the first snow after a particularly gloomy autumn. They didn’t want to wake up from it because it felt so good, they just wanted to sink into this feeling and never wake up.

Maybe that’s why those minutes they had prepared for months went by so quickly, and maybe that’s why it was so weird to bow to the audience after they had finished. It didn’t feel real, it felt surreal, almost magical. Not to mention the hugs and the cheers they received after the show was over and even Seulgi hugged Jimin out of joy after their friends had successfully finished their stages.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to do that again?” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows teasingly, earning a smack in the chest from Seulgi. Though even the girl couldn’t deny that there was a lopsided smile in the corner of her lips, and neither Taehyung, nor Aera were as blind as to not see that this had been a step in their denied relationship.

“Okay, who wants to have some rice cake soup after this?” Taehyung hollered at their little group and everyone nodded in approval. Even Hoseok could be convinced to join them - of course, Eunji couldn’t be convinced -, and so with the rest of the cast, his best friend, Aera and Seulgi, they headed to their favourite tteokbokki place around school, celebrating the success of their one and only musical that they had wrapped up without any mistakes.

Even if they would not repeat it next time, it was still an unforgettable experience; a proof that even those who weren’t considered suitable for such things could try themselves out and prove everyone wrong. It was great to hear from other students that after this time they were brave enough to try out totally different things - let it be dancing, joining the choir, running for class president or even just baking - and that their example was motivating enough for them.

No one should have been limited to one single title or activity, everyone should have been allowed to experiment and see what they like or dislike. Maybe they won’t become worldwide famous and maybe they will give up in the end, but if their heart told them to do something, then people’s judgements and prejudices shouldn’t have held them back. Life was too short to not try out what they wanted to, and the opportunities were there, always there.

Maybe their stories wouldn’t end up like Taehyung and Aera’s who became official after the winter musical or maybe they wouldn’t be that couple who always fights but makes up aka Jimin and Seulgi, but every experience was precious, let it be good or bad, and sharing the experience with loved ones was even more precious.

And as for Taehyung and Aera, they could now keep this day as a memory in their hearts; a memory of high school and musicals.

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagines #bts fluff #taehyung #bts #taehyung fluff #bts comedy #taehyung comedy #v scenarios #v imagines #v fluff #v comedy #my story #restlessmaknae

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werecat · 4 years ago

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Helllooo i tried utena bc Lesbian n watched the first 6 ep but i utterly fail to see the appeal ? Ok the girls are cute but the story is so random, the animation is horrible, the characters are so stupid i cant understand their actions 90% of time, the plot is. Where is it. everything. I loose my shit each time utena goes to fight with this awful 3mn choir song. Its so long and meaningless. Is it like that all the time ? Im sry i want to like it but why ppl say its good ?? Am i missing smth ??

OMG anon... wow is this a lot to unpack. Ok, let me preface by saying: @ all my followers and anyone else who sees this, pleeease for the love of all that is holy do not watch utena just for the gay factor. I get why it’s a selling point, of course, I also got into it primarily for that, but—ok, let me spell it out rl quick—

utena is not:

a straightforward romance story

a cute, fun yuri

a series made for mass appeal

utena is:

a very intricate, complex narrative that requires some mental effort from the viewer to put the pieces together

a series that, while genius, touches on a lot of very sensitive and potentially triggering topics that everyone should know about before going into it

(Full triggers guide here, including a great synopsis for first-timers.)

Now let me just say that I’m also pretty early on in the series, so all of this is going off what I’ve heard from my mutuals, who I trust wholeheartedly:

Most of your criticisms seem to come down to the fact that you were misled as to what kind of story this is—there’s waaay more to it than utena and anthy’s relationship. I got into it after reading my mutuals’ analyses of and commentary on the themes it explores; I have a feeling you were just told there’s lesbians in it, which is a terrible mistake. Anyway, the most important things you need to know are 1) the real plot only kicks in at a certain episode later down the line (mutuals please chime in with the exact number, I can’t recall it), 2) the story is structured in a way that you need to watch the whole thing (preferably twice) to like, Get It. A feature, not a bug! I believe that should explain away the “random story” and “stupid/inexplicable characters,” as well as the narrative being “long and meaningless,” which—I get that that’s subjective, but it’s really the polar opposite of meaningless, I swear!

I won’t rag on you for not enjoying the animation, though I think it’s lovely, but that song is an absolute BANGER, anon, I’m offended (only half joking).

TLDR: yes, you are “missing something” in the sense that you came into this with the wrong expectations (understandable, it is not a typical shoujo). It’s not something to watch casually, but I do believe you will probably find the payoff well worth your time.

(Of course, it’s not for everyone, so maybe you just won’t like it, which is fine! But I hope this clarified some things for you.)

#ask #rgu

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makeawisdom · 4 years ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Verin Thelyss, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss Characters: Essek Thelyss, Verin Thelyss Additional Tags: Just two siblings talking about feelings, established shadowgast Summary:

Verin noticed his internal conflict, but he wasn't able to guess Essek's train of thought. He stood up and look him in the eye. “Why him, Essek? Why is he so special?”

(In which the Mighty Nein have been invited to dinner by the Umavi Deirta Thelyss and her two children have a heart-to-heart conversation while they wait for them)

“This is all your fault”

“I don't see how it could be. I didn't do anything” answered Essek without looking at his brother. “It was our mother's idea.”

“It was our mother's idea” repeated Verin, mocking his voice. “Bullshit. It's your fault. Our lives were happy and peaceful, and we didn't gather for more than fifteen years. But then you've decided to go out of your lair and get yourself a boyfriend.”

Essek felt the warm creeping over his cheeks, but he hoped he was able to hide it well enough. He didn't want to give his brother more material that he could use against him. He already had enough of his repertoire.

“That's not the reason why she's doing this. Our mother only wants to check if the Mighty Nein could be used as leverage in her schemes.” Not that he was to allow it, but he was wiser than to confront his mother straightforwardly. He worked better behind the scene, anyway, hiding in the shadows. “And he is not my boyfriend. We're… figuring things out.”

It sounded bland and hackneyed, but it was the truth. He and Caleb talked about it, and that was their mutual agreement. Everything was overly complicated already, taking in count the Mighty Nein knew about his endeavors with the Assembly. Essek's position as regards the group was precarious, to say the least. A few of them felt some resentment against him and he couldn't blame them. It would have been understandable if they decided not to trust him ever again. Why Caleb still could have faith in him, was a mystery. Essek couldn't fathom why would he hold any sort of feelings towards him either, even if Caleb was persuasive enough to convince him that he did. Words could lie, he knew, he mastered that art. But glances, and caresses, and tender smiles between kisses were a whole different story, one than Caleb told him with blunt sincerity and Essek couldn't help believing.

“That's definitely the face of someone that is thinking of a person which is figuring things out with, sure” Verin leaned back on the armchair he had claimed and raised one eyebrow. Essek, standing, looked at him from above with a deadpan expression. “I swear I still can't believe this is happening. I was so sure you will die alone in that huge tower of yours, surrounded by thirty cats that will feast on your remains.”

“That's hilarious. Hilarious and disgusting” said Essek with a tone that expressed he didn't find it funny at all. “Don't make that kind of jokes during dinner, please”

Verin gave him a grin.

“Why not? Do you fear that I will embarrass you in front of your figuring-things-out-friend?”

“No, my sweet little brother. I fear that they might like you.”

Verin laughed wholeheartedly, making Essek crack a little smile.

“What is your opinion on this?” He knew his brother well enough to try and be more specific before he could find room for another witty comment. “About Caleb and me, I mean.”

“Hold on a second, since when do you care about what I think? Are you okay? Did you hit your head or-?”

“I know mother will expound her point of view as clearly as she likes. I was hoping that, if you have something to say as well, we can discuss it privately, so I only have to deal with one criticism at a time.”

He seems to think about it for a little while until he finally said:

“Well… he's a human. A human from the Empire. That's weird.”

“I assume it must look like it is, yes.”

“But, that's not even the weirdest thing. The worst of all is that he is a wizard. A wizard, Essek! Do you know how untrustworthy wizards are?”

Of course, Verin wasn't talking seriously, but he can't help but think of what his brother would think of him if he knew how right he was. What Essek has done. How he, unintentionally, started a war that could have endangered his own brother.

How he was responsible for their father's death.

Before meeting the Mighty Nein, those thoughts wouldn't have even made him twitch. But now…

Now…

Regret is a novelty that didn't wear off easily. He didn't use to worry about the consequences of his actions, but at that moment, he realized his ambitions could have cost him more than he was willing to pay. Only one thin thread on the big tapestry of the odds had prevented his brother from being one of the numerous corpses soiling the ground of the battlefront, instead of being there, pestering him, laughing at his own jokes.

Before meeting the Mighty Nein, he has had already so much to lose but he couldn't see it. They didn't only give him another chance; they also give him perspective.

He thought he could live with the idea of his brother hating him. Essek had been alone for so long that he believed for a matter of fact that he didn't need anyone else. But the idea of Verin finding the truth, blaming him for what he did, was terrifying.

Verin noticed his internal conflict, but he wasn't able to guess Essek's train of thought. He stood up and look him in the eye.

“Why him, Essek? Why is he so special?”

His guilt didn't disappear, but that question was enough to bring him back to the conversation. That was his current battle: his denmother, his younger brother, the dinner all of them would be sharing with the Mighty Nein in less than an hour.

One concern at a time, he told himself. The first thing was finding a good answer to his brother's question. A very uninspired one, he thought. Only the seriousness his brother used to drew it up stopped Essek from dodging it and telling him he sounded like the side character of a badly written romance novel. He couldn't do it because he knew Verin's worry was sincere and that it was his way to show it.

“He’s outstandingly intelligent. Although he’s lacking formal education, he’s a competent…”

“Blah, blah. Magical nerdy stuff is one of the reasons, I get it. I didn’t even doubt it. But if that were enough, you would have hooked up with any of those stuffy people from the Marble Conservatory, but you didn’t, and it’s not as if you didn’t have your pick. You used to have a flock of infuriating suitors.”

“Yes, and all of them were infuriating, as you’ve correctly pointed out.”

“Well… but one or two should have been salvageable, I guess. But you’ve never had a partner before. Not one I’d heard of, at least.”

“I’ve never had a partner before, period.”

“See? That’s why I’m so curious! It must be something else!”

Verin was right: there was something else, but he didn't want to talk about it. He's always been proud of being discreet, keeping his matters to himself. Verin, on the contrary, shared everything, even those things Essek would have preferred not to know. It was an unbalanced dynamic, the one that they had, but Essek felt sheltered that way, stronger. Talking about what Caleb meant to him... Essek knew it would make him seem vulnerable and he didn't want that.

But that was the point in trying to do better, wasn’t it? Doing what is necessary to improve, even when he considered it to be the last thing he wanted to do. He had a long road ahead, but he could start with that little step. He took a deep breath.

“He is… He is everything I thought I didn’t need until I had him in front of me.” His mouth started getting significantly drier with every word he said, while he felt how goosebumps claimed his entire skin. He felt awful, self-conscious, and exposed, the same way he felt beneath the deck of the Ball-Eater, the day he confessed his crimes. He hated it just as much, but that probably meant he was doing something right, so he kept going. “He’s caring and understanding. He’s fun in his own awkward, delightful way. I’m still amazed at how much kindness he can show, after… After everything. I’ve never met someone with such endurance before. He’s admirable, in every possible way.”

He gave him a second chance when any other person would have made him pay for his wrongdoings. He hoped for him to be a better person, and Essek obliged out of selfishness, as he always did. He still believed in the cause he sold his soul to. His pursuit of knowledge, crossing limits anyone else hasn’t even dared to reach. He had lived through that desire, put all his stakes on it. In an ambient where he could not thrive, surrounded by people that didn’t understand him and didn’t care for him, magic was the only thing that pushed him forward. Without that itch, without his ambitions, what was left for him?

Love, he learned that infamous night in Nicodranas. There was warmth. There was friendship. There was love.

There was Jester, lovely Jester, holding his hand.

There was Caduceus, urging him to spit his dirty secrets as if he were trying to make him vomit a poison that was killing him inside.

There was Caleb, with his eyes, and his hands, and his lips. He kissed him gently, in a moment when any other person would have landed a stab-wound between his ribs.

That’s why his change was so selfish. He could not drop every project he had fought for during all his life and change just for himself. But he could change for them. Be whatever the Mighty Nein wanted him to be: a friend, an ally, or a lover. Damn, he would even be a good person! He was trapped and enthralled, and he never, ever, would like to be let go.

Did he ever stand a chance? No, probably he didn’t, not against them, at least. Not against Caleb.

“I wasn’t seeking companionship when I first met him” Essek admitted, “but when we stumble on each other, when I had the opportunity to talk to him and get to know him better… I couldn’t help but see how similar we were, and yet so different. I don’t know how to explain it, just… Everything between us clicked together.”

“An instant connection. How romantic.” Essek was grateful for the lighthearted inflection of his brother’s voice. That was normal, familiar. It was a good grip to keep his mind from spiraling. “Who knows. Perhaps the Light pushed you two together and you are meant to be, after all. I mean, what were the odds of you finding another oddball like you?”

What were the odds, indeed.

“I don’t believe in destiny.”

“Of course you don’t. People like you have ‘destiny’ for breakfast, but even you would admit that this is some kind of divine intervention. I mean…”

“Yes, I found someone that can stand me. A miracle” Essek replied with a deadpan expression, “You might find someone someday as well, if you ever stop being a little brat.”

Verin showed him the sharp point of his fangs. Essek was sure his brother was preparing himself for the delivering of another witty comment, but instead, he just shrugged and gave him an honest smile.

“You seem quite different, I would say.”

“Well, I am different. I suppose it shows.”

After a brief pause, Verin added:

“You really love him, huh?”

Essek didn’t need to consider the answer.

“I do, Verin. I love him immensely” he admitted so naturally that he surprised himself. That was such a profound truth that he couldn’t have expressed it with less honesty, because it wouldn’t have sounded right any other way. “Not only him. I love all of them. They’ve changed my life for the better. My relationship with Caleb has indeed meant a lot of adjustments in both our lives, but it works somehow, and it makes me happier than I can express with words.”

Verin blinked once, then twice.

“That’s… wow. Just wow. It turns out that nor only you have feelings, but you’re also able to talk about them! I’m impressed, I’ll admit it.” Essek raised an eyebrow, but Verin kept talking before he could comment on anything. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not teasing you right now… well, a little, but that’s what I always do. Believe me, I’m glad to hear you’re happy. It’s everything I could have hoped for you.”

Verin patted his shoulder a few times, a gesture that probably was just friendly between well-built soldiers, but it was a little rougher against someone as slim as Essek. He was able to keep his balance and his dignity with it. It hurt a little, but he did not express it in any way. He was too grateful for his brother’s reaction to getting mad at him for not knowing his own strength. Verin really mean everything he had said, Essek knew, and that tugged at his heartstrings. He cared; he had always had. Essek was lucky to have a brother like him, he thought.

“I have a question, though”, Verin began.

“Go ahead, please.”

Verin grinned.

“May I call that Caleb brother-in-law?”

Essek didn't hesitate.

“Don't you dare.”

***

Fun fact: If ‘Person A talking about their feelings for Person B with Person C’ can be considered a trope, it’s my favorite one.

Fun fact 2: This is not really my hc for Verin and Essek’s relationship. I think they hate each other’s guts, but I started writing this and I thought: ‘Oh, okay, this dynamic is wholesome. I’ll stick with it’

#critical role #campaign 2 #essek thelyss #verin thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #text post #fanfic

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dangan-happy · 4 years ago

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(Give me back my glitter, Monomi!)

Hoping for help from Leon, Kaito, or anyone else who has advice (First time asker, hi everyone)

TW for COVID/Lockdown stuff

So lockdown/quarantine has made me realize I’m going to be happiest doing work solely by myself. I’m settling into my career where I have to work with others during a very stressful time for my clients (I currently work in the wedding industry) but I make art for extra money in my free time and I just like that so much more. I’m leaning toward hoping to do that full-time but I don’t think my family would support a career change, especially in something that’s so risky. It’s really hard to make it as an artist. My family are really supportive of my wedding industry job but seem to talk bad whenever I talk about my art hobbies. My mental health is better when I make art (especially when someone buys something!) and I always get stressed during wedding season (even though that work is fulfilling at the end of the day).

I guess I’m just not sure what to do? I do like my job but I think I’d be happier all the time if I could just stay home and make art? How do I navigate this?

Ty in advance ❤️

This is a change of pace compared to most things I’ve heard that involve this stupid lockdown.

I understand that you want to keep your job, don’t get me wrong, I get that wholeheartedly. But sometimes, you have to realize what’s more important. And that’s your happiest. It may sound cliche as hell to say that you should follow your heart but it’s something that needs to be done in certain situations. Now, I’m not saying that you need to do this, because this is your choice. Be sure you keep that in mind.

It’s really unfortunate that your family isn’t supportive of the art hobby, that’s lame, they should be supporting you no matter what you choose to do. Well, within reason, let's not get the wrong idea here. I really think you should follow through with the choice that makes you happy. And that seems to be art, right? A part of me also wants to say that you should see how it feels for a bit longer, but we can’t be too sure when this lockdown will end and I don’t want you to wait forever if that makes sense.

No need to thank me anon, I hope I helped you even a little bit.

What's good anon! First time asker huh? Welcome! Hi! I'm your host, the one and only Luminary of the Stars! I don't know what I'm doing, so let's get to the advice part before I start rambling about space squirrels or something! Aw man, dude, the wedding industry?! Wow, the fact that you've worked in that at all is awesome. I've heard enough reddit stories to know that I'd never be able to do that. I'd probably like, yeet the wedding catalogue at someone and leave. Yeah, jeez, I have questions about why you'd want to get married during a pandemic, but yeah that's gotta be really stressful.

That's super awesome you're doing art on the side! Yeah, I agree, it's a risky thing, especially now more than ever. I'm not an artist, but career wise, I think it's best to keep that on the side for now. I'm glad you're doing well in quarantine, I personally feel like I'm gonna explode from the isolation, but it's super cool that you learned something new about yourself! Wow, that's like, really rude. Your parents shouldn't talk badly about your art, that's a super badass talent. Drawing is freaking hard, I tried, and my rocket looked like a banana with fins. If drawing helps your mental health, that's even better! If it helps you, then I'd keep going with it. Don't give up what you love for someone else's opinion. You obviously love it and it helps you a lot, so I think you're totally the kind of person that needs art in their life.

I'm friends with a lot of introverts, and a lot of them say they'd be happy if they were left alone with their hobbies all the time. Like, I think that's totally true, but there's always gonna be times in life where you have to go back into society and be around people, so I think having a certain amount of socializing per day is important, so you don't become a complete hermit who can't ever leave your house. Honestly, I think you're pretty good where you are now. You said your work is satisfying, and you're settling in well, so I'd keep going with that job because it seems like you're in a pretty good place overall. However, don't give up on art! I'd try to maybe put a little more work into that, maybe promote yourself more, or take more commissions or something. I don't think it's a good idea to try to go full art in a pandemic since it's even more risky, but you can always start gradually working towards that so you can potentially make that switch in the future.

Alright, that's all I got for you, so I hope that helped. I feel like this response was kind of all over the place, so if it's really hard to understand, I'm really sorry! Anyways, keep doing what makes you happy. Believe in yourself and your talents, it's your life and no matter what people say, you can do what makes you happy!

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #leon kuwata #kaito momota #mod 11037 #mod kaito #tw covid 19 #covid 19 mention

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cinaed · 4 years ago

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Red vs Blue Season 2 Rewatch

Well I'd meant to do my season two rewatch Saturday but was sick most of the weekend. But now I'm feeling well enough to watch and enjoy!

Aw, I forgot that the first scene of the season is Doc's introduction.

Church being so done with Caboose and Tucker, and the combination of O'Malley and Caboose means that his threats involve giving Church a birthday present (sure it's Tucker's head, but you know).

Just imagining Doc's expression as the Blues explain that Church is a ghost and now a ghost in a robot makes me laugh. Also another thing is that the Blues apparently have a Spanish-English dictionary, which somehow the Reds never bothered to get for years. Sorry, Lopez!

I love that Church actually knows military lingo and it's Tucker and Caboose who are like "???" whenever he tries to be smart in earlier seasons. Also Tucker just being like "Nope, I like my blood on the inside."

God, I forgot that Church went "I can't pronounce Frank, we're calling you Doc." Like..Frank? At least protesting over DuFresne makes a little more sense! Church really does love to mess with people. Also Doc's speech about the differences between being a medic and a doctor remains iconic. "Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die."

I also forgot that Church just straight shoots Caboose (and actually hit him!) so Doc will go over and help him. Stone cold. "I can't believe he shot me!" "Oh, don't even START Caboose!"

Also love that the Reds have staff meetings, which Grif presumably sleeps through. Though why they all even trusted Grif to carry ammo around, I just don't know.

And the beginning of the iconic surrender exchanges. Cake, flags (wait no flags), Lopez. Doc turning into a fake hostage. "You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" "We've already got that! What else do you have?"

I forgot that Doc immediately assesses the Red Team, realizes Grif is the least popular of the group, and immediately starts insulting him to curry favor. Speaking of stone cold, like dang, Doc.

Another iconic scene is Church ragging on Tucker as he wiggles his switch. :D And of course Sarge's amazing code is "drive." He's definitely that guy whose password is Password1235.

Fun parallels with Donut's "I'm so freaking lost" and Doc's "Help, this Jeep is kidnapping me!"

Lopez is like a son to Sarge! Sarge loves him so much that he forgives him for turning against him and murdering him. Also Sarge thinking he can fight a machine gun.

Tucker: "You hardly ever used your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggy-back rides." Church: "Hey, I already told you: that was for science." And thus canonical piggyback rides were established.

Bold of Simmons to call someone else Poindexter.

Everyone thinking Church is shy because he can't turn around.

Grif using Doc's words against him, and thus a low-key dislike of each other was born.

Poor Doc. Stuck wandering the wilderness aka the 60 feet or however much space there is between the bases.

Simmons and Grif squabbling like an old married couple trying to tell the story about the Blues and Doc.

I am usually against love triangles, but the Lopez/Sheila and Sheila/Caboose is so good.

Caboose having a good idea, except they didn't consider that Lopez would immediately escape.

Ah, the old days when Lopez actually believed in the Red Team. Also will always love "Primary objectives: 1. Fix everything. 2. Hate the orange one. 3. Call mom more often." Lopez calling Sarge father! And then his brutal disillusionment as the Reds almost kill him.

Simmons loves that machine gun.

Lopez/Sheila is such a good ship. Love their meet-cute. Of course then Tex steals his body. Also Sheila being into Lopez AND Tex. I'd forgotten about that.

"Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."

Love Tex just rolling with "Sure, I'm a ghost." And now we're finally into the O'Malley plot which is so much fun.

Sarge's been wanting to get a cyborg on his team for this whole dang war. He's so happy when Simmons becomes a cyborg. Meanwhile Grif and Simmons are united in hating the idea.

Tex telling embarrassing stories about Leonard's high school years. :D And the beginning of this very weird plan to rescue Caboose from O'Malley. And seeing the inside of people's heads. Or at least Caboose's head, which means a stupid Tucker and a Church who is even more foul-mouthed than Church himself plus he's Caboose's very best friend. Sarge the southern pirate. Donut the girl. Grif's yellow armor.

Grif sounds almost impressed when he does the 1-2-3 count that he pulled on Simmons and realizes that Donut beat him at his own game. Unfortunately then he promptly gets run over by Sheila.

"Suck it, Blue!"

I honestly love Lopez's love song to Sheila. He's such a romantic.

Church is such a nerd. His insults are so bad.

And the beginning of Doc and O'Malley's saga begins. Their juxtaposition is amazing.

And the beginning of cyborg Simmons! I still love that even if Simmons instantly insults Grif, the fact remains that he went through surgery to save Grif's life. And he sounds genuinely worried when Grif starts coughing, right up until the point he figures out Grif is using his brand new replacement lungs to smoke. And Simmons trying to get Grif to eat healthy and stop smoking. Good luck with that, Simmons...

Simmons apparently likes to dance, if his fury over the assumed cancelled holiday party is any indication. That's a prompt for someone!

Donut and Tucker are both the romantics of their team because Tucker thinks Sheila/Lopez is sweet, he just doesn't want to deal with love triangle bullshit.

Meanwhile Lopez and Sheila go on strike for machine rights and I for one support them wholeheartedly.

Double O Donut! I love Donut and Grif's misadventures together.

Tucker: "Sheila and Lopez are now considering leaving to form their own robot army. They said no one would dare oppose them." Church: "What?! Did you try to talk them out of it?" Tucker: "No way, I wouldn't dare oppose them!"

Poor Donut. He has no sense of direction. And poor Doc, stuck with O'Malley for company.

Sarge talking about the entertainment value of being tortured. Sarge...what.... I'm not gonna kinkshame, but I'm definitely gonna think about kinkshaming Sarge.

Donut and Caboose's truth or dare scene is so cute. They're such a fun dynamic. And I really wonder what Donut was gonna say about the Red Team plans until Church possesses him. And Church is immediately super chill in Donut's head, and wants to just relax and do some arts and crafts. And Donut considers Caboose his friend! And Caboose really likes Private Biscuit.

Church trying to bargain for two robots so he can have Tex back is sweet right in the middle of a ridiculous scene. And Donut being so excited for a sleepover with the Blues.

I'm just saying, Sarge would make an excellent car salesman the way he's messing with the Blues over these robots. And Donut must be rubbing off on him, heh, because "I've been told my lube jobs are fantastic!" is definitely a Donut line.

Church using military lingo in one episode and then a handful later not understanding military time is such a Church thing.

Finally to the iconic Tucker line of Grif and Simmons. "It's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple. I've only been listening for like five minutes and I can already tell they're really in love. Why can't they see it?" And Church doesn't even bother to argue.

Tucker discovering Red vs Blue is a lie is still amazing. As in the ironic discussion, which I will always love.

Donut's sarcasm when he realizes they're leaving him and Sheila behind to guard each base. Man versus tank. Should go well for him.

And set up for season three, which has some of my favorite team ups-- Sarge and Caboose, Grif and Church. That'll also be a fun rewatch.

Time for the bonus features aka Outtakes, PSAs, and deleted scenes!

Honestly most of the PSAs this season weren't great, but the Fourth of July fireworks safety one did make me laugh. And it does have Donut with his Kiss the Cook apron!

Outtakes were okay, with the running theme of Burnie trying to explain adlibbing to everyone else, haha. Also "Great Caesar's Dressing!" is as catchy as "Great Caesar's Ghost!" And the outtake of Sarge being Hamlet. And Tarzan. And the Grif and Simmons audition tape was fun.

Deleted scenes! Doc and Vic having some weird chemistry. Calling Doc hot and saying he missed him. And Doc complaining that no one likes him and that someone stole his wallet. Of course then Vic immediately gets mean. The others include Sarge and Grif prepping Simmons for cyborg surgery before Grif gets hurt and they actually go through with it, which mostly includes getting Simmons super drunk. Sounds about right for Blood Gulch!

#Red vs Blue #rvb rewatch

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 years ago

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Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-6th Place

…

Can someone please explain how it is possible that #6 can somehow be one of the best shows in the 2010s, yet somehow it can also be one of the worst?

#6-Rick and Morty (2013-)

The Plot: A nihilistic scientist named Rick Sanchez returns to his daughter and joins her family to the dismay of...well, everyone else. The one who gets the most anxiety is Rick’s grandson, Morty, who ends up getting dragged alongside Rick on adventures across the cosmos and even the multiverse. From there, they face dangerous aliens, Rick’s old enemies, and even evil alternate versions of themselves. Not because those threats are a danger to the universe. It's because they’re just a pain in the ass to deal with.

Now that I got the plot out of the way, I want to take the chance to briefly rant about why Rick and Morty is one of the worst things that could have come to television. It has nothing to do with the show itself (far from it, in fact). The real reason why Rick and Morty is the worst has everything to do with its fandom. I know, I know. I shouldn’t use a show’s fandom to judge it. Because if I did, then half the series on this list would be blasted into the sun. But the Rick and Morty fandom is the one exception to that rule. Because unlike most toxic fandoms that stick with being a-holes to other people on the internet, the Rick and Morty fandom actually affects real life. They take quotes from the show that were fun to say and repeat them so much that those quotes become the most annoying words created by man. This fandom also drove McDonalds up a wall because Rick briefly mentions how delicious the Szechuan sauce was, and the “fans” ended up breaking McDonalds when they briefly brought it back. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more annoying than how these people react when someone says they don’t like the show.

You see, according to the fandom, “Rick and Morty operates on a higher form of intelligence that far exceeds all shows known to man. If you don’t enjoy it, then you’re just a big old dumb fjdlfjkdlfjoidsahjipfojewoitufd9gt9geijo parwfu9--” SHUT THE F**K UP! Ok?! Shut up! Just shut up! Because Rick and Morty is NOT the smartest T.V. show on the planet. It’s not even CLOSE to the most intelligent show on television. It’s smarter than most shows. I’ll give it that. But if you want to ask me which show was the most intelligent, I will more than willingly say Futurama. You know. The show is actually written by people with three PhDs and seven master's degrees. Hell, I’d be more willing to say that The Amazing World of Gumball is smarter than Rick and Morty. That’s right. I wholeheartedly believe that the show aimed for children-F**KING CHILDREN-is smarter than the show aimed for adults. And guess what, Rick and Morty fans! It doesn't require Stephen Hawking's levels of intelligence to enjoy the show. You can easily be a C+ high school student and still think the show is good. I should know because I’ve caught classmates who are C+ students watching the show while IN CLASS! AND THEY ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! NOT BECAUSE IT WAS BRILLIANT! NOT BECAUSE IT WAS A MASTERPIECE SENT BY THE BIG GUY HIMSELF! BUT BECAUSE IT IS LIKE EVERY OTHER SHOW THAT IS AIMED FOR ADULTS! WITH LOW BROW AND HIGH BROW HUMOR, GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE, BUTT UGLY ANIMATION, AND CHARACTERS WHO ACT LIKE A**HOLES TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT ADULTS LIKE TO SEE ON TELEVISION!

>SCREAMS WITH INSANITY<

>Huff<

>Puff<

Man, that’s twice in a row when a show has nearly driven me to the brink of insanity. That can’t be any good.

…

Aw well. Not that I’ve got that rant out of the way, allow me to actually talk about the show itself and why it actually is pretty amazing.

First and foremost is the show’s comedy. While the jokes aren’t “brilliant masterpieces,” they are jokes that get you thinking from time to time. They also come pretty fast, so even when one dies, another funnier joke immediately comes after. This show also dabbles in two different senses of humor: Absurdity and being super dark. The way absurd and dark humor works are by giving viewers no other reaction other than laughing at a situation. Because how else would you react to squirrels running the government or the idea that Hitler cured cancer in an alternate dimension? I mean, other than being confused and disgusted by things such as that. This is why humor, like most things, is subjective. Not everyone will find the same things funny, and, understandably, they don’t. I personally can’t stop laughing in most episodes of Rick and Morty, but I would never verbally attack another person for saying something different. So chill the f**k out when a person says they don’t think the show is funny! Besides, other cool pros that come from Rick and Morty.

One spectacular thing is the show’s attention to detail. And I don’t just mean in terms of animation. The stories are pretty airtight most of the time, and rarely do I find a plot hole within. The best example is the twist in “The Ricklantis Mixup.” The episode itself is already pretty good, but having prior knowledge of the final big reveal leads to looking at specific scenes in a new light. As for the animation, there’s also great detail within it. Like in the background, to be more exact. The show goes out of its way to make each new world that Rick and Morty visits look as unique as possible, which should really be the goal for a sci-fi series if you ask me. And can we give a round of applause to whoever designs the characters in this show? I mean, the characters look hideous (which is something I never understood in adult animation. Seriously, who was the idiot that thought it was a good idea that you have to make your characters look as ugly as possible to be considered for adults?), but each character in this series--background and foreground--looks unique. Usually, most shows stick to having similar models reused and redesigned to give the illusion that the background characters are different. But in Rick and Morty? There is rarely a time when one creature looks the same as the other. And when they do, it’s usually for a purpose such as an alien species that looks the same or making an identical alternate version of Rick and Morty.

Speaking of, what is by far the best thing about Rick and Morty is...well, Rick and Morty. These two not only have a great dynamic, but they even have great chemistry with each other. Because whenever a show advertises its central hook being its dynamic duo, the same pair must have perfect interactions. And boy, is it hilarious seeing these bounce off of one another. Their synergy is always hilarious, and at times it can be surprisingly heartwarming. In fact, what I love most about these two is how they sort of learn from each other. Rick is still a nihilistic a-hole to those around him, but he seems to back off the most when he’s around Morty (most of the time). And while Morty still puts his foot down when it comes to Rick’s pure unadulterated...Rickness, he also has moments where he seems to share his grandfather's nihilistic views. I rarely ever seen this, as most dynamic duos keep their intended personalities to keep audiences entertained. And while I’ve heard fans complain about how the show makes Rick more human and Morty more like a Rick, I personally enjoy how much of an engaging character study these two represent.

Unfortunately, while Rick and Morty are easily the most intriguing characters in their series, they are also the only characters worth mentioning. Summer is fine, I guess, but most of the time, it feels like the writers aren’t sure what to do with her. Is she a slacker? A cliche teenage girl? Rick’s number one fan? I don’t know because most of the time, it feels like her personality is dependent on what the writers want in an episode. She isn’t bad, but some consistency would be nice. As for other characters, there really aren't that many who are worth mentioning. Most of them are either bit characters who serve the purpose of making a joke or are just one-off villains that our “heroes” face. Now there isn’t anything wrong with that, especially considering the latter. After all, when you watch Bugs Bunny screw around with someone who's wronged him, it’s always that Wascally Wabbit you remember the most. Still, I wish there were a couple more characters the show could invest in. And I know, last time I complained about a show that had too many characters. However, the opposite extreme isn’t that great either. Personally, I feel as though a series should have a moderately sized cast, where there are enough personalities to work off of, and you won’t have to recycle ideas you’ve used with the characters you already have.

And seeing as how we’re on the topic of characters, there are two individuals that I need to talk about. In fact, these two characters are easily the worst thing about Rick and Morty (aside from the fandom). Those characters are Beth and Jerry. Sweet mother of all that is holy, these two are downright insufferable! For some reason, the writers think it would be entertaining to have a married couple always argue and bicker with each other. It isn’t. In fact, every time an episode moves away from Rick and Morty and decides to focus on these two, the show’s quality plummets on a lot of notches. You’ll want to see them get a divorce. You’ll PRAY that they get a divorce. And (actual spoilers) when they finally get a divorce in season 3, do you want to know what the worst part is? They are somehow worse apart than they are together (spoilers over). And you can argue who you think is worse all you want, but to me, the worst character is easily Beth. I personally don’t mind Jerry all that much. At his best, he’s hilariously pathetic, has a great dynamic with Rick, and I legitimately feel bad for him when the universe seems to kick him when he’s down. Can he get a little grating at times? Yes. Absolutely. But while Jerry can be annoying, Beth can be a downright psychotic moron. She will willingly endanger her family, all in the efforts of pleasing a narcissistic a**hole of a father who consistently has a god complex. And when a person points this out to her, she will insult them and point out how “great” it is to have her father back again. Even though Rick didn’t seem like that great of a father anyway. It is physically and psychologically unhealthy for Beth to have these disillusions, and it isn’t until four seasons does she actually tries to show some backbone. Which I still don’t believe because it feels like it won’t last by how quick it is.

And seeing that we’re on my own personal hang-ups with the show, there’s one last topic that I want to cover. And it’s a topic that, to my knowledge, nobody else is bothered by. This problem affects me personally, and I want to give a word of warning to those who might not actually feel the same way. And that’s the fact that Justin Roiland is not the great of a voice actor that he thinks he is. This doesn’t mean he’s a bad voice actor because he's far from it. In fact, I can’t even hear the similarities between his voice for Rick and for Morty. But there is a problem: Justin Roiland has two modes. It’s either his normal voice or his high pitched voice. Both with minimal modulation, and it’s the latter that he seems to focus on the most when he voices 80% of the characters. The problem is that I not only think his high-pitched voice is annoying but with how consistently Roiland uses it, it will always break the immersion for me. Because I’m not hearing a unique character. I’m hearing Justin Roiland doing the same high pitched voice for nearly every character he voices. Just look at Seth Macfarlane and the characters he voices. You can tell it’s him, but he at least offers different modulations for each character (If you don’t believe me, then compare some of his famous roles with Justin Roiland’s).

While we’re still talking Justin Roiland’s acting, it’s also his improv that could use a little workshop. Now, for the most part, the improvisation is pretty good in the show. Like actual good improv, it feels natural within the dialogue exchanges, and you wouldn’t know until someone else points it out. However, there are times when Roiland’s improv can feel like verbal barfing. It’s fine when he voices Rick’s drunken rants, but for the Interdimensional Cable episodes? Yeah, needless to say, it can get a little noticeable. So noticeable that even the characters point out how blatant it is within the episode. Again, this is something that bothers me personally. To my knowledge, there isn’t anyone else who complains about this aspect of the show, which is perfectly fine. I just feel like other people should get a word of warning before they dive right in.

So is Rick and Morty the godsend of a series that surpasses all other television shows? F**k no. No series that has ever been made is 100% perfect. Not even the good ones. And if you disagree, then you are in denial over how many faults a show has. For instance, Rick and Morty have plenty of issues. There’s not that many likable characters, it has the worst cartoon couple ever with Beth and Jerry, and Justin Roiland needs to work on his acting despite being an already good actor. That’s everything wrong with Rick and Morty in a nutshell. But despite these problems, the show still has phenomenal attention to detail, hilarious comedy, and the best dynamic duo in recent memory. So while it isn’t the perfect show that its fans believe it is, it is still pretty damn good. And that alone is good enough for me.

(Just do yourself a favor and avoid joining the fandom. It’s already too late for those poor bastards who are already in too deep, but it isn’t too late for you!)

#top 20 of 2010s #rick and morty #what i thought about

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morphituu · 5 years ago

Text

Milagro

Chapter 18: Back to Santa Monica

Ch: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17

Nick’s poor attempt at muffling his own hiss went unnoticed when Callie gripped his hand with a hold that could challenge an Orc’s, her forehead coming to press against his paling knuckles, gritting her teeth through the pressure.

“I’m sorry, I know these are awful,” Dr. Sangui sympathized, her hands and eyes busy behind the screen of the thin cloth draped between Callie’s knees.

“Mhm-” Callie tried to remain composed, but Nick could see the bands of muscle straining along the entire length of her legs propped up in the stirrups.

“Okay, aaand,” her doctor made quick work of her hands, followed by a few metallic clicks. “We’re done,”

Callie exhaled, her knees slapping together, whispering a soft, shy apology to Nick when she caught him shaking the blood back into his hand. He shrugged it off so she wouldn’t dwell, helping her sit up.

“Do you two have your bags packed yet?” Dr. Sangui asked after dropping the speculum into the sink and rolling towards them.

Nick snorted. “No,”

Callie flicked his hand.

“Well I think you may wanna keep them in the car, honestly. You’re about 70% effaced,” she grinned at Callie, instantly recognizing the excitement rising in her big eyes.

“What’s that?” Nick asked, feeling a little excluded from all the smiles.

“She could go into labor any day now,”

Nick’s poise flickered through a wide range of emotions just as his ears did, blindly reaching for Callie’s thigh to squeeze, but she was sure that although he would go on to tell her it was for moral support on her part, he was actually supporting himself so he didn’t fall forward onto his face.

“So he’s full term?” he cracked, grimacing at the betrayal of his voice.

“Right now his growth equates to a human baby at 36 weeks, at that stage we don’t stop labor if it comes. Callie’s body is showing all the right signs of labor preparation so I feel comfortable saying yes, he’s full term and you should have a little boy in your arms any day now,” her smile had started to break through her words, and by the time she finished, Callie was pressing her fingers over her own wide smile.

“Any day?” Nick repeated, the telling placement of his hand on his chest alerting Callie that he was leaning into breathlessness

“Yes sir, so pack those bags,” she scolded. “If you don’t have anymore questions or concerns I can get your paperwork organized and send you two on your way to get all the sleep you can.”

“Yes!” Callie clasped her hands together. “What secrets do you have to start labor?”

“I wish I had some,” Sangui frowned. “And while we’re at it, I'd like to go over our plan once more,”

“My natural birth plan?”

Nick’s glance up at her was one of annoyance; he didn’t understand why she had to be so hard-headed about this.

“Your back-up plan,”

“Assuming I even need one because I’m going to push him out,” Callie was frolicsome as ever, but her refusal to even consider the possibility of anything going south was worrisome. How would she handle the labor if it did go south?

“Seeing you wholeheartedly believing in yourself thrills me, but I need to hear you say you understand the importance of it, please . I don’t want any confusion if the time comes,”

Callie exhaled, choosing to look away from her doctors hardened, and seasoned stare. “I understand,” she established clearly, her mood having plummeted a little. “When can I cancel the c-section?”

“The second Leo is out,” she promised. “And a little personal advice from a mother of five,”

Nick’s eyes widened. Five!?

“Walk. Walk as much as you can and let gravity do its job,”

“That’s it?” Callie muttered in disbelief.

Sangui nodded enthusiastically. “Tried and true method of evicting those little things,”

Callie looked at Nick who in turn shrugged. “Of all things,”

“Just please, whatever you do, don’t use castor oil. I cannot stand to see another baby go to ICU,” Dr. Sangui pleaded, the familiar grief lining her expression telling all the heartache she’d endured from such unfortunate events.

“I’ve heard horror stories,” Callie agreed, and once again Nick was left in the dark as he waited for some kind of hint to be provided

“Listen to them. Okay! Let me go grab your papers and you two can get going!” She chimed happily, patting Nick’s shoulder as she passed and left the room.

Callie always giggled when Nick took it upon himself to help pull her shorts up her legs, tugging them up her thighs once she was standing despite her half-hearted attempts at shoving him away. When it came to the spandex band that covered the curve of her low stomach, he’d step away knowing she liked to fold it over a particular way.

The black tank-top was pulled down, already fanning her cheeks and tossing her hair off her shoulders. A deep flush dusted her freckled cheeks, one the brisk AC didn’t even harpen.

Nick gazed up at her, admiring. Like the first time he’d looked up at a police officer at six years old, eyes wide and sparkling in wonder, he now found himself stuck in the same predicament, unable to pull from the force keeping him there. This time however, he gravitated towards it instead of ducking shyly behind his father.

His strong hands came to hold her thigh, his forehead resting there also.

It had started to hit him while basking under the warm beams of her smile; the realization that soon his world that revolved around Callie would shift, and Leo would become the center.

There were times he’d wake from hazy dreams of finding Callie sitting in their bed, whispering in mystifying talk down at her arms where little hands grabbed blindly, and where even softer cries would bring him towards her despite feeling fear heavy his feet.

Nick took a composing breath, his hands squeezing her thigh steadily. Callie’s own came to caress the back of his head and neck, but with her global stomach in the way, she couldn’t lean down to kiss him into a tranquil state. She hoped her touch gliding across his wide shoulders that expanded with deep inhales did something for him like his comforting aura so often did for her when she found herself in a panic.

Now that the power of his night terrors were failing to do harm, they seemed to switch their assault on his wakefulness the closer they came to meeting Leo. The fluttering excitement was stirring, slowly simmering into fear, the steam clouding his eyes and leaving him in a confused haze.

What do I do if he doesn’t stop crying? How often can I hold him? What if he hates me?

Fatherhood was just around the corner, but there wasn’t much even she could do to prepare him, and the questions would likely remain unanswered until the time came for him to simply go through the motions of learning their son.

He’d started to absentmindedly draw designs across her thigh where the shorts didn’t reach, his head tilted and staring from behind his sunglasses at the woman who struggled to pay her parking ticket at the gate.

“How hard is it to press a button and swipe a card?” Callie chastised, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

Nick shook his head. “Not like we need to be anywhere today,”

“Ross is calling and the heat is cooking me,” she whined, rallying a chuckle from him.

“Maybe it’ll bake him a little faster,”

“You got your oven mitts ready?” she cracked, and he laughed again.

The remnants of his smile lingered once looking back to the car ahead of him, his ears twitching when an alluring idea came to the forefront of his mind. “Do we have anything planned for dinner?”

Her eyes momentarily bounced around as she squinted, finally exhaling, “Nope,”

Nick grinned. “Date night?”

“Mm? What’ya have in mind?” she smiled when resting her chin in her palm and laying her phone in her lap.

“How about Santa Monica?”

Her smile wavered here and there between a scowl. “Last time we were there we got in that fight ,”

“That was last time,” Nick sighed.

“I know, okay, I just…” she fidgeted, halting her drumming fingers. “That was just a shitty day,”

Nick reached into her lap to smoothly scoop her hand into his, their fingers twining when he kissed the back of her hand, his eyes on the road as they finally made their way from the parking lot. “You know I’ll be sorry forever,”

“Callie open the fucking door!”

The heel of her palms stayed pressed against her eyes when she shook her head, leaned forward into her own lap. “Go away Nick,” she croaked, sniffling.

“Open the door!” he bellowed, his palm coming to hit the window sill of the passenger side door.

“Fuck off! Just leave me alone!” she screamed, fresh hot tears staining her cheeks.

“I’m not going until you fucking talk to me!”

“ I don't wanna talk !” she sobbed, and continued to scream as he yanked animalistically against the handle, the truck swaying side to side. “Nick stop before someone calls the cops!”

“I don’t fucking care!” he bellowed, truly uncaring of the strangers amongst the crowds coming in and out of the piers parking lot that had stopped to watch him beat wildly against the truck. “Now open the fucking door so we can go home!”

“ NO !”

She screamed when his lightning fast strike was enough to crack the window, the soft splintering filling the silence between them now as she looked at his heaving form that looked back in shock from his own outburst.

“I know,” she used the back of her knuckles to rub his chin before he held her thigh so she could have her hand back.

“That won’t happen again, I promise,” he still reassured.

“It’s okay baby, really,” Callie’s small smile was comforting, but he knew the somber memory still made her flinch sometimes when his temper grew explosive. “It’s not like I haven’t gone apeshit sometimes,”

“Yeah but I can just pick you up and toss you aside when you start tapping into those crackhead vibes,” Nick grinned when she giggled, her soft touch tracing the back of his hand as the wind tossed her loose hair around. “So do you wanna go?”

“Yeah, one more date with just us two,” she beamed, her smile brighter than any magic he’d bored witness to.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

“Oh yeah, it’s not like all the times there were bad,” she suspired, leaning closer to give him that crooked, toothy grin.

Nick could only look at her in fleeting glances, but he’d recognize that glimmer of her eyes anyday. “Like?”

“Like the ball,”

Nick swallowed. “The black dress ball?”

“Mhm,” she bit her bottom lip, studying him closely.

“Nick stoh- stop stop I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum!” she sobbed, thighs trembling and spread in his lap. He was buried to the knuckles in her pussy, his hand other working her flushed tits that shook with her ragged breaths.

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” he sneered against her hair, the shimmering black dress pooled around her waist.

The aching of her knee started to dull as she ebbed closer, her heeled foot hooked onto the dashboard and fingers dug into the fabric across his thighs, surely burning her own palms the longer he extended his torture.

His fingertips found her clit for only a moment before sliding two fingers back in, her spine arching immediately when he drummed her spot.

“Ah fuck-” she choked, curling off his body. “Nick, Nick Nick-”

“Fuck I love it when you shake like that,” he growled, teeth bared and gripping her breast tight enough to make her whimper, but it was all muted the moment she climaxed.

Callie was always a sight to behold when this moment came; the way she chanted his name until her voice broke, her hips rolling perfectly into his rhythm, and there was always the pulses of her pussy. How he could feel her slick walls milking his fingers, and could practically taste her sweet nectar he scented furiously.

“You’re fucking perfect,” he whispered, dragging his slick fingers out to rub her sensitive clit. There were a few listless jerks of her body, but Callie twisted in his hold after evening her breathing, her sore fingers curling in his shoulders to steady herself.

Her movements were wobbly and sloppy, but this night, Nick was too heated and hard to stop her from wiggling upright in his lap, and clumsily reaching down to guide his hard as rock cock inside once he’d done away with the belt and zipper.

His head hit the headrest, eyes closed and moaning against her parted lips that ghosted against his. She tasted like the champagne they’d been served in crystal glasses, her touch cold across his chest once she’d run down the length of buttons.

Every slow drop of her hips took him back in with ease, a breathless whine meeting his lips every time he filled her.

The fallen strands of her messy hair that was once pinned up in a soft french twist now tickled his cheeks as she looked down at him with balmy eyes.

Nick’s mind further unraveled when she leaned back against the steering wheel, switching to soft bounces that dropped her head back in the wake of a loud moan.

The smooth plain of her torso was bared for him to touch, his palms sliding flat up between her breasts and resting at her neck as he bucked into her sweet pussy, his own cries starting to fill the steamy space of the trucks cab.

A few snaps before his eyes brought him back with a deep flush and growing erection, his heavy eyes finding her looking up at him curiously.

“Are you daydreaming?” she smiled, poking his hip.

Nick shrugged, his knees swinging wide as he adjusted the achy hard-on in his shorts while following her to the next aisle. He quickly offered an elbow upon watching her waddle with a hand pressed into the wearied crook of her spine, still keeping a hand at her back when he reached up to top shelves for her.

“Here,” she took both of her selections and hung a bag on each of his shoulders, studying them meticulously.

“Why me?” he cocked a hairless brow.

“You’re gonna be carrying it while I’m dying of labor pains,” she grinned. “I think I like the Puma one,”

“If I’m carrying why can’t it be more me looking?”

“They don’t have any blue ones,” she pointed with a frown, narrowly avoiding the slap to her ass. “If I scream that someone from the Blue Man Group is hitting me people will come running!”

Nick chuffed, hooking his arm around her shoulders before she could slip away, hanging on tight when she tried to squirm away. She let out high pitched laughter into his chest as he shoved his face between her shoulder and cheek, all in attempts to chuff into her ear; it always made her squirm and scream.

“Cheesecake!” she finally squealed, slapping a few rounds worth of hits against his arms that didn’t phase him in the slightest. “You ruined my bun!”

“Ahh it was already fucked, c’mon fur ball,”

Now Nick barely avoided a hard punch to his arm after grabbing the bag of her choice and moving on, only coming back to her side to help her walk after she pinky promised she wouldn’t groin shot him.

“So what else?” he asked, his arm hung around her shoulders.

“Swaddling blankets. I have everything I need at home-”

Nick nearly lost his footing when his arm didn’t follow, but he quickly realized what was happening when he came to face her pinched brows and scrunched nose, the irritated turn of her jaw.

“Bad one?” he questioned keenly, glaring at a couple that murmured lowly in annoyance as they moved around a steadfast Callie at the center of an aisle.

She nodded, exhaling slowly. “Thought my water was gonna break everywhere for a second,”

Nick felt the blood come back to his face. “Wait until we’re in the car at least so I can just drive you to the hospital,”

She snickered, leaning more into his arm now as they ambled around the store.

The mostly curious, sometimes disgusted and other times intrigued gawks in their direction was for the most part ignored now; years of toughening allowed him to now brush the remarks off, but even he couldn’t resist growling lowly when the looks deviated, dragging up and down Callie, or his form. If there was ever a time Nick hated his heightened sense of smell, it was in Targets with middle aged mothers who would outwardly glare at him, but upon passing, their arousal would give them away, often accompanied by a glance over their shoulder at the beefy Orc.

“There’s another cougar looking at you,” Callie would whisper, pointing with her chin.

It’s when he’d give a small reminder to the less informed humans that he was spoken for, usually with a hand slipped into Callie’s back pocket or slyly pulling her hair back from her face to reveal the faint bite under her jaw.

“So where’re we eating?” Callie piped, gently touching a pair of thin, silver earrings whose jewels sparkled softly.

“Mariasol’s? I could go for some ceviche,” Nick’s mouth watered at just the thought.

“Oh good, I thought you were gonna be tired of Mexican after these last two weeks,”

He scoffed. “I haven’t grown tired of you, have I?” he asked against the shell of her ear, smiling when she blushed.

“Nick?”

They both turned at the unrecognized call of his name, but Callie caught the stiffening of Nick’s spine before she even had a chance to properly overlook the lean Orc woman that had called after him.

“Grohet?” Nick said, his eyes peeled.

“Yeah- hi!” she smiled, her stubby tusks barely peeking from her lips as she moved forward to hug him.

Although Nick’s embrace was stiff and half-hearted, it still shrunk Callie back to his side, unknowing where to look or how to place her hands as she took in small details of the admittedly gorgeous woman before her lover.

“How’ve you been?” she went on to ask, respectfully stepping away from him.

“Uh yeah, good, real good. God it’s been years since I’ve seen you,” Nick replied nervously, his eyes shooting to Callie’s and finding the anxiousness. “This is my girlfriend Callie,” he proudly introduced, his hand returning to the spot at her back

“The lone wolf is finally settling down, huh?” Grohet teased, shaking Callie’s hand gently.

Callie’s head cocked. Lone wolf?

“Najbor-tuk or lavgru-mal?”

“Boy, we’re naming him Leo,” Nick went on, his chest puffing.

“About to pop then?” she asked, and although Callie nodded and snaked her arm behind Nick again with a nonchalant smile to match, she wanted out of that conversation immediately.

She didn’t need to be told to know these two had history.

The kind that made Nick fidgety, or her cock a painted brow when she spotted Callie’s obvious condition.

It also made her wonder how he’d jumped from tall, elegant Orcs with velvety voices to her stunted stature and tangly hair that even annoyed her sometimes.

God, she was almost his height and built like an Olympian-

“Maybe, but we should get going, we have a few more errands to run,” Nick’s voice broke through her thoughts, but by the time she realized she’d been glaring at Grohet, he was already shaking her hand.

“Yeah me too. It was nice meeting you, I’ll see you two around.” She grinned at Callie who could barely muster her own. Grohet strolled away leisurely, pushing her earphones back.

“I thought she moved out of LA,” he pondered out loud. “You alright?”

Callie nodded with a sour grin. “Cramps,” she lied.

“Well let’s get you off your feet then.” He offered an elbow, the couple setting off back down the aisle as Nick went on to chat about something she didn’t quite catch when glancing over her shoulder, but the mysterious woman was already gone.

It was surprising how easily he found parking this time of day, and so close, but before he could even turn off the truck, he was staring at Callie again, more notably her downcast eyes and hands toying listlessly in her lap.

“Callie,” he sighed.

“Hm?”

“Talk,”

She pursed her lips, looking at him with glossy eyes. “You never mentioned her before,”

Nick’s expression turned horrified. “Why’re you crying?”

“I’m not, it’s the fucking hormones,” she sniffled.

“What-”

“Why didn’t you ever mention her?” she questioned. “I’ve sat and talked about your exes with your mom and that one never came up,”

“She wasn’t an ex,” he intoned, resting back in his seat and turning the engine off.

“Oh bullshit,” Callie scoffed. “Just spit it out,”

He looked to her with apprehension, sighing as he said, “She was a fuck buddy,”

A few seconds of Callie’s blank mein ticked by, then a few more before she calmly situated back in her seat, holding her round stomach. “An ex would’ve been better,”

Nick sighed again, unsure of what to even say that could expel the tension, or calm the unrest in her mind.

“How long?” she asked softly.

He shook his head in uncertainty. “Five-ish months?”

Now she looked at him, her brows pulled together in mild discomfort. “How’d you two meet?”

“O-Date,”

“So it started as a date?” she whined, but Nick had grabbed her hand, turning in his seat to face her.

“She told me within ten minutes she wasn’t looking for a relationship. She only wanted sex,”

“For five months!?”

“Callie,” he stopped her rampage. “That’s not fair,”

Her brows furrowed now.

“I didn’t ridicule you for the guys you slept with before me,”

She looked down at his hand holding hers, his thumb stroking her skin. “What was she like?”

“I don’t know,”

Callie looked at him in confusion.

“It was literally just sex, we didn’t even talk. I’m surprised she even remembered my name,”

“What’s with the lone wolf thing?”

Nick looked outwards, his lips in a straight line. “It was my username…”

Callie tried, but she still giggled at it. “She’s pretty,”

Nick scoffed. “She has fake eyebrows,”

She laughed this time, bringing her forehead to rest against his knuckles. “I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be. I’d flip if one of your ex’s came strolling up like that,”

With a shrug she said, “I’m positive none of them would even come up if you were standing next to me,”

“That’s what you get when you date white boys,”

“Shut up! You fucked someone with fake eyebrows!”

Nick’s leer was menacing. “You really wanna go there?”

“Uhh…” Callie could only utter, the sheet wrapped loosely around her bare form. “Can… are you okay? Josh-”

Fuck, was his name Josh!?

He only waved her away, his face buried in his other palm as he choked down hiccuping sobs and sat facing away from her at the end of his bed. His bony shoulders shook terribly; it freaked her out a little bit.

“Y-you can lea-leave,” he at last choked out, rising naked from his spot and wobbling out of his messy room.

She could hear him bumping against the doorframe to another room, and until she heard the door lock did she remain motionless, but as soon as she could hear his intensifying cries drowning out in the slurred words of who ever he was calling, Callie was on her feet and pulling her clothes back on with her phone pressed between her ear and shoulder.

“Pickuppickuppickup-” she hissed, yanking her jeans up her legs.

“Hey bitch-

“Rosie come pick me up,” Callie rushed, flinging her phone down only a moment to pull her shirt on.

“That was fast-”

“NO, he fucked me for three seconds now he’s in the other room crying!”

There was a long pause. “What!?”

“Why are you making me relive that?” Callie carped.

“Cuz you reminded me of the time I rubbed off one of her eyebrows and it was horrifying,”

She managed to stifle most of the laughter, but he’d at least had the courtesy of not laughing at her when she’d first retold the tale of her flee from the boy that had started sobbing like she’d murdered his family before him, and muted her amusement.

“Are you okay?” he asked again, his hand smoothing the back of her head.

Callie nodded, the rampant thoughts diminished and Leo rousing lively after hearing his father speak. “I’m sorry,” she again said softer.

There was only a shake of his head before he closed the space between them, his lips meeting hers for confident, full kisses that made her cheeks warm. His big hands concealing her reddened cheeks only continued to warm as he prolonged the kisses, speaking softly to her in whispers only she would ever hear.

“Okay,” Nick forcefully threw the truck into park in his excitement, the pair looking out to where they’d already spotted Dinara and Oleg sitting at one of the outside patios of the bar. “Ready?”

She nodded, but didn’t move except for her leg that was bouncing like it had its own engine.

“Baby,” he held the back of her neck until she looked at him with glossy, wide eyes.

“It’s the third time,” her voice broke, quickly wiping her eyes. “What if-”

“No, we already said no what if’s. This,” he reached to place a hand over her flat stomach that would soon start to bulge. “This is it. There’s no more what ifs,”

Her lip started to tremble. “What if I lose this one too?”

Before she could even continue he was bringing her forehead against his, holding her steadfast, vanquishing all of the fear if only for a few seconds. Her grip on his wrists was tight, but he knew it was out of fear, not repulsion, and his unwavering support was what she’d need now and until she pushed this baby out despite fearing it would be ripped from her grasp like the ones previous.

“This is the one Callie,” he spoke softly, his palms moving smoothly over her cheeks. “Pick names because you’re gonna be a mom,”

She smiled, weakly, but it was still something. He kissed her head when it dropped, allowing her the minutes she needed to compose herself before they’d once again step before his parents and tell them she was expecting.

“It feels like yesterday,” he mumbled, his mottled finger following Leo.

“I didn’t think I could do it,” she admitted carefully, shame filling those big caramel eyes when meeting Nick’s bewilderment. “My body’s never been reliable,”

He couldn’t argue that. Between miscarriages and endless medicated routines that turned Callie’s body sour, the ornery temper of her womb would always seem to flare up when she least needed it.

“Baby?” he called, shrugging off his bag by the door and hanging his keys. He pushed down Pucca who excitedly pawed as his hip, shoving her wide head under his hand with a series of high-pitched whines.

“Where’s mama?” he played, but the sudden spin and glance over her shoulder Pucca shot back at him brought his teasing manner down. Nick furrowed his brows as he looked down at Pucca’s perked ears and straight as an arrow tail.

“Where’s mama?” he asked again, beelining after her when she took off down the hall, her nails ripping across the carpet.

The blood assaulted his senses before he even made it to Callie’s aid, curled up in bed under the sheets.

Pucca started barking beside her, whining when Nick whipped the sheet away to lay bare the blood pooling beneath her.

“Cal-” he gasped, Pucca continuing to cry beside them.

The stench of sickly blood still laid vivid in the meadows of his mind no matter how he fought to forget it’s odor, but a quick, and comforting look at her stomach swelled beautifully with his healthy baby brought him back from the darker corners of his mind.

“Ready to eat?” he asked.

“Yep.” She nodded, thankful to be steered away from those memories.

Nick was there as always to help her down from the high seat, his hold at her sides unmoving until she was steady and clear headed. His daily attentiveness reminded her of the faith she held in him, knowing the same strong arms that so guarded her would be where Leo would lay safely, cradled and shielded from any harm.

As she looked up at him with their hands joined, listening to him speak about the ambiance of the outside bar he wanted to sit at, she knew he’d share his thoughts and lessons with their son throughout his life, confident that the same excitement that glimmered in his eyes would grow brighter once he looked into Leo’s inquisitive eyes.

Nick took notice to her quiet stares, her brows furrowed every so slightly as she gazed, and listened, a hand rested over her stomach once sat under the warm lights lining the patio like stars.

“What?” he scoffed, his curiosity growing when she shook her head, but gave him that toothy, crooked grin.

“I just like listening to you talk,”

“Even after all these years?”

“I can’t wait to hear you talk to Leo,” she wavered, batting her glossy eyes.

Nick waved his hand, leaning his cheek into his palm shyly when she smiled adoringly at him.

But did she know how excited he was to see her with Leo in her arms? To at last give her what she’d fought for? To be lulled by the soft lullabies he knew she was saving for her son, and watch her admire the tiny hands she’d soon be able to kiss?

Nick stared at her now much in the same way she did, his heart hammering and his quiet breaths unsteady.

Could he keep her forever? Would her overflowing love for Leo leave room for him after all he’d put her through to get here?

He swallowed, smiling off her soft accusation of staring, his eyes diverting to the menus before them.

His eyes roamed over the words, but his heart was directing his attention to the question he’d wanted to hear her scream yes to that first time he’d ever spoken of his desire to make her his wife.

“They’re gonna like you,” he buoyed, snatching her hand to kiss her fingers.

“Says the one who told me how vicious your mother was when she met your other girlfriends,” she whined.

“You’re different,”

“Oh yeah? How?”

Nick sat up, inclining to kiss her sweetly once before saying, “I didn’t plan to marry any of those other girls,”

It didn’t register right away, but when it did, he saw the gravity of his words flicker across her face. First it was a loose smile, then the furrowed brows, them pure confusion, all making him smirk.

“What?” she croaked.

“You heard me,”

She situated better, scooting closer. “How’re you so confident after everything that’s happened? You never once thought we were hopeless?”

“Sure, but I never stopped feeling it. No matter what I did it’s been the same since I first saw you. Hit me like a bullet to the heart,” he explained, witnessing the glaze move over her eyes.

“Wh-” she cleared her throat when her voice cracked severely, moving her hair behind her ears. “Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Cause of the shit you’ll get for wanting to be with someone like me,”

He blew air. “I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, even if it’s our families. And it doesn’t have to be soon, hell it can be on our deathbeds, but no matter what, I’m gonna marry you one day Callie. Even if we’ve only known each other so briefly, and some of it was apart, I can’t fathom a life without you,”

She blinked away the moisture in her eyes. “You’re so sure you wanna spend that long with me?”

“Are you asking me, or yourself?” he questioned, leaning on a hand closer to her. “If you don’t want to spend that long with me, it’s okay-”

“I’m asking you. I know what I want, but do you?” she asked softly.

He kissed her again, resting his forehead against hers. “I want forever with you. Everything about you-”

“My anxiety?”

“Callie-”

“I can never give you a family,” she grieved, but he hushed her, kissing her silent.

“Anything, everything, always. You can’t scare me away,” he laughed, and so did she.

Nick glanced around. Could I do it here? There were only a few more patrons filling up the patio that late afternoon, individuals that hadn’t even given the odd couple second glances.

He looked back to Callie, leaned to the side and going on about Leo favoring her left side the past few days.

I don’t have a ring.

That smothered his flame some, but the thought of Callie not being his in every sense possible made his heart ache, even if she was branded with his mark and carried his scent.

He gazed at the smile that had made his heart thunder to life that first time all those years ago, the freckles he’d once counted as she slept tangled in his hold. Her big eyes that twinkled with life, even in the dark.

Callie’s soft ranting about the price of an enchilada dish halted when her hand was suddenly enveloped by his on the tables surface, and as soon as she found the bubbling, skittish fear in his eyes, somewhere deep down in her heart, she knew what was coming.

“Callie-”

“Hey there! My name is Kim and I’ll be helpin’ you two out tonight,” the cheery, short statured waitress popped up, laying down coasters. “Can I start you two off with any Liquid Marijuanas or Mai Tai’s? Maybe a bottle of Black Sky for you sir?”

“Uh-” Callie started.

“Woops! Or maybe some waters? Fresh horchata? Jamaica?”

“Can we have time to look at the menu?” Nick stopped her, his agitation growing.

“For sure! I’ll swing by in a few minutes!” and Kim was off, pacing towards the next table.

Nick exhaled bitterly, letting go of her hand to open his menu again in preparation.

“What were you gonna say?” Callie asked, eyes hopeful and waiting.

Not now, not here. I’ll take the signs. “If you minded if I drank a little,” he grinned.

The mild disappointment in her tone when she replied made him wonder if she knew what had been coming, and if she’d been hopeful for it.

Callie acted nonchalant when she leaned back in her chair, quickly changing subjects and not really letting a word in otherwise, but he understood. He knew it was so she didn’t have to argue with her own thoughts and emotions of hidden embarrassment.

Suddenly the dinner felt like it’d take too long, but a quick reminder of their last date they’d ever have as just Nick and Callie settled that impatience.

If the time he would ask could be perfect, he’d wait.

But once the food came and went, his nerves grew.

When they finally raised from their seats after talking for what felt like hours, lost in one anothers smiles and soft caresses across their hands, he found his hands starting to shake.

The sky was melting into waves of oranges and purples, glowing over the crashing waves she wanted to sit in the sand before. Nick held their shoes in one hand and hers in the other, wobbling over the warm sand until they found a spot close to the shoreline.

He made sure she was safely nestled before flopping down behind her, his legs on either of her sides and arms coming to wrap around her cool arms, her thick hair wisping in the cool breeze under his chin.

She reclined into his chest, gently shh-ing Leo when Nick brought his vivacious side out, both of them chuckling when his touch was kicked away.

Their voices and conversation dimmed with the setting sun, Callie’s heavy eyes lingering on the thin wash of water that crept up and down the beach.

Sometimes she could still hear Pucca barking and running through the shallow water, uncaring of what child she mowed down in her efforts to chase her ball. Callie didn’t think she’d ever get over the absence of her deceased companion. Her bed still sat by the hallway entrance, her bowls still below the bar.

She turned her shoulders to press her face into Nick’s chest, curling into a tighter ball.

His firm hold around her frame stirred a content moan, goosebumps firing up her arms where his hand rubbed up and down.

Nick released a steadying breath low enough to go unnoticed, opening his eyes after his small pep talk that now felt foolish. Nothing would help with this intense fluttering in his gut except her final answer, whether it be what he wanted or not.

“Callie?”

“Hm?” she lifted her nose to press under his chin.

He blinked away the heartbeat behind his eyes, licking his dry lips. “Will you marry me?”

Callie looked up at him now, and he worried she’d heard the shake in his breath after asking, but the beaming smile shining up at him after some visible tension had fallen off her shoulders made him laugh nervously, his brows starting to furrow when she didn’t answer right away.

“Yes, yes- I want to be your wife,” she sighed, her grip already moving to his broad chest.

Nick felt his heart vault back between his ribs from his stomach, a loud exhale making her laugh when she realized he’d been holding his breath.

“Did you think I’d say no?” she asked against his mouth when he started peppering her face with kisses.

“I did,” he groaned apologetically. “Every time I brought it up you seemed to hate the idea,”

“What!?” she exclaimed. “Nick I’ve wanted to marry you since we first got back together, but I didn’t trust myself to remain the person you fell in love with if I would’ve kept losing babies, especially Leo,”

“Why would I stop loving you for that?”

“I don’t doubt you, but I don’t know if you would’ve been able to live with the person I could’ve become, regardless of how much you love me. I didn’t want to disappoint you anymore,” she explained sullenly.

She tried to look down despite his hands angling her face up, pressing her cheek into his palm bashfully.

“You’d be doing me the honor of being my wife, because I don’t deserve someone as brave, and strong and fucking gorgeous as you”

“Nick stop,” she wept, his hands bringing her back when she shook her head.

“I don’t deserve you but you’re my other half, Calista. I’m not me without you. You’re my best friend, and my home. You’re my fucking girl,” his voice had started to shake again, his brows arched in annoyance that he couldn’t remain composed, but her lips sealed his when there was no more to be said. Without words she calmed the torrid emotions, reassuring that he hadn’t made a mistake in asking for her hand.

She promised she’d excel the ideal image of a wife just as he did when he swore her everlasting protection and devotion, and together they vowed the home for Leo, the love, patience, and everything else they would surround their son with as he came into this world and grew.

When their tears had dried and he again kept her tight against his chest, his flannel removed and draped over her body, she started to giggle to herself until he leaned back to look at her in question.

“You couldn’t have asked before we ran into your ex fuck buddy so you could introduce me as your fiancée?” she smiled playfully.

“Do you want me to scream it in case anymore are around?”

Her smile dissolved. “More?”

“I’m joking.” he grinned, blocking her hits against his arms and chest until he got his arms around hers to continue smothering her with kisses.

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✨🎉🔔⛪⛪⛪🔔🎉✨

i'm already writing the next chapter. it's time.

as always, thank you @rfitzhugh74 for being the kind of best friend everyone deserves, and always helping me with this beast 💛🖤

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